Aquaman Jokes

Why did Aquaman join the DC universe instead of Marvel?

Because he was hydra-phobic.

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What does your mother do for a living?

She sells shesells...I mean...Sea sells sea shells...dammit! She's...a beachside entrepreneur.

Why did Tina Fey cross the road?

To get another Golden Globe. Tina Fey walks into the Tina Fey,the Tina Fey asks "How can i Tina Fey you?to which Tina Fey reply,"Ah just give me a Tina Fey" and then leaves with a Golden Globe. Unbreakable is good.

Why are you picking up rocks?

M: I'm starting a rock band. Neighbor walks away. That is how you get people to leave you alone.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What type of car would Jesus drive?

A Chrysler

What's the difference between Bono and Jesus?

Jesus didn't walk around Dublin acting like he's Bono.

Water Jokes More Water Jokes

What's the difference between an accident and a catastrophe?

It's an accident if a boat full of refugees starts to take in water. A catastrophe is if they know how to swim

How do you get the water in a watermelon?

Plant it in the spring.

Join Jokes More Join Jokes

What happens when doughnuts join a sorority?

They have to go through the glazing. I'm sorry I'm a baker it just came to me... Pun-ishment is in order.

Why did the little pig try to join the Navy?

He loved to sing "Oinkers Aweight"

People Jokes More People Jokes

Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday?

Because people kept toasting him!

What do you call a large group of people who spit on others?

The Salivation Army.

Dc Jokes More Dc Jokes

What do the Washington Metro system and the Little Mermaid have in common?

They're both under DC.

Why was Nikola Tesla a fan of Marvel?

Because he didn't like DC...

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What do you call a couch stuffed with chic peas?

A hummus-sectional ba dum tish! I know that was bad. Please blame my boyfriend, he thought of it.

Why was most of Jesus' walk downtown very awkward?

Because his friend asked him when he thought they should cross.