Dead Person Jokes

What's the difference between a viola and a coffin?

With a coffin, the dead person is on the inside.

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Garage Jokes More Garage Jokes

Who's there! Clark! Clark who?

Clark your car in the garage!

What is the difference between 1000 dead babies and a Ferrari?

I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

Realize Jokes More Realize Jokes

What did the one explorer say to the other when they arrived in Northern Canada?

Eh, you take this one. I don't want Nunavut. PS: I realize it's a double negative.

What's worse than fighting an uphill battle?

Getting to the top and realizing it's all downhill from there.

Vote Jokes More Vote Jokes

What do you call a pig that votes?

Polled pork.

What do phone books and women have in common?

They both couldn't vote before 1920

Viola Jokes More Viola Jokes

What do you call a person who plays the viola?

A violator.

Why is a viola solo like a bomb?

By the time you hear it, it's too late to do anything about it.

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

How can you tell a vampire has a cold?

They start coffin.

What would George Washington do if he were alive right now?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

How'd you sleep last night?

Son says: "umm... With my eyes closed " Edit: This actually happened btw. Probably funnier irl.

Why did the man sleep under the tractor?

Because he wanted to wake up oily.

Center Jokes More Center Jokes

Who plays center forward for the vampire football team?

The ghoulscorer.

What does NASCAR really stand for?

Non Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks

Raise Jokes More Raise Jokes

What do you call a person that raises the dead and also had a thing for napes?

A neck-romancer

What did they say to the CEO who raise minimum wage to $70,000?

Price is right!