Footlong Jokes

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Order Jokes More Order Jokes

What's wrong with these eggs I ordered?

Waiter: Don't ask me. I only laid the table.

Why are people always having their pizzas delivered?

Just order them without liver.

Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

What do you call lying furniture?

Untrustable

Why did the monster lie on his back?

To trip up low-flying aircraft.

Stripper Jokes More Stripper Jokes

What percentage of police officers are strippers and what percentage of strippers are police officers?

I'm confused.

Jared Jokes More Jared Jokes

What does Santa Claus and Jared from Subway have in common?

They both leave kid's homes with empty sacks.

Why's the little boy scarred for life after going to buy his mom some earrings?

He went to Jared.

Sheep Jokes More Sheep Jokes

Why should you always tend sheep near a hospital?

Because at any moment they could bleet out

What do you get when you cross a sheep with a robot?

Steel wool

Obsess Jokes More Obsess Jokes

What do you call someone obsessed with Japanese food?

A weeafood

Why are Twilight fans obsessed with it?

Because they need a fandom that won't make them feel like trash.

Cell Jokes More Cell Jokes

What did the magician say to the cell?

Might I conjure Ya?

What is the difference between a physicist and a biologist?

A physicist is atoms studying themselves, while a biologist is cells that study themselves.

Convict Jokes More Convict Jokes

Why hasn't Bigfoot ever gone to prison?

Because he has only been convicted mythdemeanors.

Why didn't the movie ticket get convicted of both of its crimes?

It would only admit one.