Freeway Jokes

How did the chicken cross the freeway?

You take the 'F' out of free and the 'F' out of way. Hint: say everything out loud.

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Why did the kid run across the freeway?

To show his friends he had guts. And boy, did he have guts.

What was an elephant doing on the freeway?

About 5 miles per hour.

Why the headlight?

Are people vacuuming in the dark or riding them on the freeway & I just havent seen

Why did the manic depressive cross the freeway?

To get to the *other side*

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Gut Jokes More Gut Jokes

Why didn't the T-rex skeleton attack the museum visitors?

Because she had no guts!

What's the difference between Jared from Subway's gut and his junk?

He prefers his gut when it's down 45 pounds, and his junk when it's up 45 pounds.

Elephant Jokes More Elephant Jokes

Why did the elephant bring toilet paper to the party?

He's a party pooper!

Why can't elephants go skinny dipping?

They can't get their trunks off...

Turtle Jokes More Turtle Jokes

What did the snail say while riding on the turtle's back?

Wheeeeeee!

What did the turtle do when he ran out of gas?

He went to the Shell station.

Ride Jokes More Ride Jokes

What do you call a Mexican on a riding lawnmower?

Promoted.

What is the hardest thing about learning to ride a bike?

The asphalt.

Free Jokes More Free Jokes

What did Abe Lincoln say after a three day drinking binge?

Wait I freed?!?!?

Why did the EU start downloading random stuff to it's computer?

It had freed up one GB of space.

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

Why was the new Mexican sad?

He was out of meth. Why was the old Mexican sad All his friends are dead.

Why couldn't Ray Charles see his friends?

Because he was married

Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

What has 4 legs and an arm?

A happy pit bull.

What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?

Cancer.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

Why are we at the vet?

Me: So our pig can't have babies 6: How do you know she doesn't want babies Me:*looks at my kids* Just a hunch

What do you call a waffle that's been buried in sand?

Sandiego (The first joke I ever made as a kid)