Friction Jokes

Why couldn't the physicist get his paper published?

It was a work of friction.

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Why couldn't Mewtwo move?

There was too much friction.

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Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What falls down faster from a tree, a leaf or an emo?

A leaf. The rope catches the emo.

Why do trees shed their leaves in fall?

Because they've had their chloro-fill.

Lubricant Jokes More Lubricant Jokes

How do you stop your children from smoking?

Slow down and use some lubricant.

What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Slow down and use Lubricant.

Library Jokes More Library Jokes

What is the definition of a Barbarian?

It's someone who cuts hair in a library.

I couldn't get a reservation at the library...

They were fully booked.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Where can I find that "4 Out Of 5 People Get Money In Their Birthday Cards" Birthday Card?

I've been checking online with no luck, unless I'm checking the wrong place

Where do you find a quadriplegic?

There where you left him.

Orange Juice Box Jokes More Orange Juice Box Jokes

What do you get when you rub two orange juice boxes together?

Pulp friction.

Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice box?

Because it says "concentrate"

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Where is the best place for a 1-legged waitress to work?

IHOP

What do programmers and taxi drivers have in common?

They both need a *break* every once in a *while*. edit: this is a three-way pun btw - it works better out loud

Rub Jokes More Rub Jokes

Why does a girls rub her eyes in the morning?

A. Because they don't have balls to itch.

Why did Kermit the Frog split with Ms. Piggy?

Because she wouldn't rub it rub it. (blame Happy International Bacon Day)

Publish Jokes More Publish Jokes

Why did the pig send his story to New York?

He wanted to be published on Pork Avenue.

What did Einstein's dad say when he published his theory of relativity?

Damn, son. It's about time!