Grip Jokes

What's the difference between pink and purple?

The grip.

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What's the difference between a red head and a blue head?

Your grip.

Where's the fire ma'am?

Grips lighter* "I'm not sure yet"

What is the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw?

It's all in the grip.

How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it one to hammer it in.

What do you call a shoe with no grip?

A slipper. (Made this up today, but almost definitely will have been made up before by someone else)

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Halloween Jokes More Halloween Jokes

Why are teachers happy at Halloween parties?

Because there is lots of school spirit!

Why do computer programmers confuse Christmas with Halloween?

Because Dec 25 = Oct 31

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish sheep herder?

One says, "hey, you! Get off my cloud!", and the other one says, "hey, McCloud! Get off of my ewe!"

What's the difference between a cheeesburger and Reddit gold?

A cheeseburger can't feed your ego.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

Why did Tim Cook fire an unpaid intern lately?

His name was Jack

Why was the distracted man fired from his job at the distillery?

Because he couldn't concentrate

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Why did 20 blondes stand outside the bar?

Because you need to be 21 to get in.

What's the difference between a public park and a public toilet?

I need to know before my court date on Monday.

Chainsaw Jokes More Chainsaw Jokes

What's the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw?

You can tune a chainsaw.

What do you call a phobia of chainsaws?

Common sense

Purple Jokes More Purple Jokes

What would you call oranges if they were purple?

Purples

What colour is eight?

Purple (According to my 3 year old son)

Handle Jokes More Handle Jokes

Why is the peanut crying?

Because he couldn't handle his roast

Why did the alcoholic quit his acting career when the audience jeered at him?

He couldn't handle his boos.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What was the humor like back then?

I was just wondering about how many jokes today maybe irrelevant 100 years into the future. To test this theory, what are the oldest recorded jokes?

What is the recipe for honeymoon salad?

Lettuce alone, without dressing. I remembered this today from a joke book I had when I was a kid. Wasn't sure if it should be here or /r/dadjokes