Happiness Jokes

What's the use of happiness?

It can't buy you money.

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Whats the closest a Mexican will ever be to happiness?

The border.

What's the difference between a black man and happiness?

You can't buy happiness!

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Et Jokes More Et Jokes

What's the difference between a happy person and ET?

A happy person has a light heart and ET has a heart light

What's ET's first name?

Spag.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why do the Germans use commas in place of decimal points?

Because it makes 6,000,000 seem like a much smaller number.

What's the simplest way to make edibles?

Using an easy-bake oven.

Century Jokes More Century Jokes

Why is England the wettest country?

Monarchies have reigned there for centuries.

What did the time traveler say at the birthday party?

I'd tell you happy birthday, but to me, you've been dead for centuries

Turkey Jokes More Turkey Jokes

What's ISIS favourite meal?

Turkey! Its the bomb!

What did the mother turkey say to her naughty son Tom?

If your dad knew how you were acting he'd roll over in his gravy

Moo Jokes More Moo Jokes

Why did the cow cross the road?

Parent: "Wh-" Me: "Moo!"

What's a cow's favorite chemical?

Molybdenum monoxide MoO

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Kanye West, an American College student, and a homeless man?

The homeless man has $7 to his name.

What is the difference between a golfer and skydiver?

A golfer goes "damn" and a skydiver goes "damn".

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

What will you do with a million watermelons?

I don't want the watermelons, I just want the money.

Why do stoners spend so much money?

Because they're high rollers

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

Why did the boat know it had a leak?

That sinking feeling...

What is it called when you walk away from your banana cream pie in the Sahara?

Deserting your dessert in the desert. I feel some banana jokes about to be inserted in this thread tho