Haunt House Jokes

How did the haunted house escape foreclosure?

It was repossessed

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

How do you get into a haunted house?

By using a spookey!

What happened when the man couldn't afford the mortgage on his haunted house?

It was repossessed!

Why did the haunted house not like rain?

Because it dampened his spirits.

What did one the left headphone say to the right headphone as they walked through a haunted house?

This place feels earie.

What kind of cereal do you find in a haunted house?

Cinnamon Ghost Crunch

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Escape Jokes More Escape Jokes

Why is turkey happy?

It just escaped from a coop.

How did I escape Iraq?

Iran

Cereal Jokes More Cereal Jokes

What do you call a near-empty bag of cereal?

Luckily Charms

What's my favorite pirate workout and cereal?

Captain Crunch

Mortgage Jokes More Mortgage Jokes

Why couldn't SpongeBob get a mortgage?

Because his house was underwater.

Why didn't the penguin close on his mortgage?

He had cold feet.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

How did the private eye use math to find the intent of the crime?

He solved for y! Thought this one up myself and thought it was post worthy

How is she?

Doctor: "I'm afraid she's critical". Me: "Oh, you get used to that...".

Spirit Jokes More Spirit Jokes

What makes a ghost happy?

An elevator. It lifts the spirits.

Why did the priest smoke weed in the cemetery?

He wanted to keep his spirits high.

Scream Jokes More Scream Jokes

Who wants to go out to dinner and scream and cry and make daddy wish he wore more condoms?

Kids: WE DO! YAY!

Why did the sand scream?

Because the sea weed. ha.

Chicken Jokes More Chicken Jokes

Why did the rooster cross the road?

To show he wasn't a chicken.

Why was the chicken afraid to cross the road?

Because it's a chicken.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What does a man with no honey do?

He cantaloupe.

Where is the best place in a book store to find a man who is handsome a good lover and a stimulating partner?

A. In the pages of a romance novel.