Heal Jokes

What happened when two hydrogen atoms collided?

The doctor had to heal-ium.

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What did Jesus say after he healed the blind man?

Made you look!

Why should you always have thyme in your first aid kit?

Because thyme heals all wounds.

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Blind Man Jokes More Blind Man Jokes

What did the blind man say when he walked into the fish market?

Good morniiiiiiing ladies!

What did the blind man say when he walked past the fish store?

Hello, ladies

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

How did 1337 Jesus escape his tomb?

X-Post from ProgrammerHumor) He used an encrypted key.

Why is Jesus always sad?

Because Jesus Christ (Cries)

Aid Kit Jokes More Aid Kit Jokes

Why did the cat join the Red Cross?

Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit!

What do you call a cat who's joined the Red Cross?

A first-aid kit!

Wound Jokes More Wound Jokes

Why doesn't Achilles have any scars?

His wounds always heel.

Why should you always have thyme in your first aid kit?

Because thyme heals all wounds.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

How can you tell an extrovert mathematician from an introvert mathematician?

An extrovert mathematician will be looking at the other guy's shoes.

What do a walrus and a zip-lock bag have in common?

They're both looking for a tight seal.

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and your TV is floating?

Man, wall mounts are awesome.

What do you call a hotel special that lets policemen stay for two nights for the price of one?

CuNO3!

Drug Jokes More Drug Jokes

What's wrong with the phrase "War on Drugs"?

Wars end.

What sort of drug does a duck use?

Quack cocaine

5th Jokes More 5th Jokes

What was Beethoven's favorite food?

BA-NA-NA-NAAA!!!!! (to the tune of Beethoven's 5th symphony)

What's the funniest joke you've heard that can be told to a 5th grader?

I always loved this one: (works better said out loud of course) What do you call a fish with no eyes... A FSHHH