Machine Gun Jokes

What do you call a man holding a machine gun?

Sir

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What do you get when you cross a vulture with a machine gun?

As far away as possible. shameful

How does a religious extremist convert an atheist into a holy man?

They use a machine gun.

What lives in a tree and is dangerous?

A crow with a machine gun.

What's black and dangerous and lives in a tree?

A gorilla with a machine gun.

What do you call a penguin with a machine gun?

Sir. Groan worthy penguin jokes(https://allwrong.wordpress.com/2007/10/05/penguin-riddles/)

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Crow Jokes More Crow Jokes

What do you call a group of crows?

The end of season 5.

How do crows know what time is it?

They have the knights watch.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What involves a man and two women, and doesn't even last a minute?

A Ronda Rousey fight.

What did Jesus say to the man with leprocy?

OOPS! GOT YOUR NOSE!

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why do hipsters only use the microwave?

Because they don't like conventional ovens.

What's the most efficient fuel to use when chasing cars?

Snow Petrol!

Vulture Jokes More Vulture Jokes

Why did the vulture have to check some luggage at the gate?

It was only allowed one piece of carrion.

Why are commercial flights always cheaper for vultures?

All their luggage is carrion.

Sir Jokes More Sir Jokes

What do you call a cross between a skunk, a wolverine, and a porcupine?

Sir" from a distance.

What will you have sir?

Bear: "Gin............ and tonic." Bartender: "Why the big pause " Bear: "I dont know my dad had them too."

Penguin Jokes More Penguin Jokes

What is Antarctica's version of tinder called?

Pick up a penguin

Why don't elephants like penguins?

Because they can't get the wrapper off.

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

What do you call a tree from Tulsa?

An oakie.

Why are hippies against capitalism?

Because money doesn't grow on trees.

Groan Jokes More Groan Jokes

What do you call a complaining adult?

A groan up!

What's long and hard and makes women groan?

An ironing board.