Machine Gun Jokes

What do you get when you cross a vulture with a machine gun?

As far away as possible. shameful

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What lives in a tree and is dangerous?

A crow with a machine gun.

What's black and dangerous and lives in a tree?

A gorilla with a machine gun.

What do you call a penguin with a machine gun?

Sir. Groan worthy penguin jokes(https://allwrong.wordpress.com/2007/10/05/penguin-riddles/)

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Gorilla Jokes More Gorilla Jokes

Which drink makes a Gorilla feel tipsy?

An ape-ricot sour!

Why are beekeepers opposed to keeping gorillas in captivity?

They're ape purists

Groan Jokes More Groan Jokes

What's long and hard and makes women groan?

An ironing board.

What does a cow use to solve math problems?

A *cow*culater. I made it up myself, so don't groan at the pun.

Riddle Jokes More Riddle Jokes

Why are riddles about trees so hard?

Because they always leave you stumped!

What's the riddle?

What has a foot but no legs?

Sound Jokes More Sound Jokes

Why is there so much "twang" in Country music?

It is the sound a guitar makes after six or seven generations of inbreeding.

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhinoceros?

Elephino. (You may have to sound it out.)

Convert Jokes More Convert Jokes

What do you call Mr. LaBeouf when he converts to Islam?

Shi'a LaBeouf

How to convert QT3.14 into GF format?

Sorry, this option is not available in Beta version.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What term is used to describe a phenomenon where a European mans ejaculates prematurely?

Pole Position

How long have you been waiting to use that joke?

He happily says, "Since 2009!"

Atheist Jokes More Atheist Jokes

What do you get when you mix a Jehovah's Witness with an Atheist?

Someone who shows up to your door for no reason.

Why Can't Atheists Solve Exponential Equations?

Because they don't believe in higher powers.

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

What do you get when Hulk holds the American Flag?

The Star Spangled Banner!

What's the difference between Jesus and an oil painting?

You only need one nail to hold up a picture.