Marry People Jokes

What's a social media for married people?

Weddit

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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Why is a room full of married people empty?

There isn't a single person in it.

What do married people do for fun?

Get divorced.

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What's the most polite meal?

Peas and franks.

What did the hot dogs name their child?

Frank

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Why do people love their smartphones so much?

Because opposites attract. (Told to me by 2 students today, loved it!)

What do you call a Parrot that loves maths and hates food?

A polynomeal

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What did the yogi say to his friends when they asked him to leave?

Nah I'ma stay

How many times can you celebrate a 29th birthday before people catch on?

Asking for a friend

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Why do slovaks don't like Czechs?

They prefer cash.

Why does Bear Grylls love Bud Light?

It's sterile and he likes the taste.

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

Where do werewolves live?

In werehouses.

What's the best thing about living in Switzerland?

Well, the flag's a big plus

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do Mexican peanuts tell time?

Cacawatches

How do you tell a good monster from a bad one?

If it's a good one you will be able to talk about it later!

Divorce Jokes More Divorce Jokes

What do they call divorce in India?

Re-arranged marriage

What do you call the divorce between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie?

A Brexit

Marriage Jokes More Marriage Jokes

What do a marriage and superglue have in common?

They both form a bond in seconds, last (ideally) forever, and are dissolved by alcohol.

Why is marriage like thin toilet paper?

Because you end up with a ring on your finger.