Martial Art Jokes

What is a vegetable's favorite martial art?

He can't do martial art because he is paralyzed tip to toe.

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What's the difference between Karate and Judo?

Karate is a martial art and Judo is used to make bagels.

What do call a potato that knows martial arts?

Jacket Chan

What martial art do cows practice?

Moo-Thai.

Why does the bad guy always have to know some form of martial art?

Why cant they just throw stuff while screaming "stay away from me!"

What kind of martial arts do birds practice?

Wing Chun

What do you call martial arts for cows?

Mooey Thai.

What do you call a seagull that knows martial arts?

Steven Seagull

What do challah and martial arts have in common?

Judo

What kind of martial art does a chef do?

Kung food (Don't hurt me, I know it's bad)

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Toe Jokes More Toe Jokes

What did a cell say to his sister cell, when she stepped on his toe?

Mitosis!

What did one cell say to his sister that stepped on his toe?

Mitosis

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

Why doesn't Jesus enjoy manicures or pedicures?

Because they always try to mess with his nails.

What's in the bottle?

Me: "It's water." Cop: "This is wine." Me: "What! That Jesus! He did it again!"

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

Why did the phone keep walking into the wall?

It lost its contacts.

What did the atom say when it lost an electron?

I better keep an ion that.

Grandma Jokes More Grandma Jokes

What's pink and wrinkled and hangs out your undies?

Your grandma.

What do you call your grandma on speed dial?

Instragram!

Challah Jokes More Challah Jokes

What did the rapper say to the deli owner?

Challah!

What's Ja Rule's favorite type of bread?

Challah!

Potato Jokes More Potato Jokes

What do you call the child of a magician and a potato?

A prestidigitator tot!

What do you call a monk that cooks potatoes?

A friar? A chip monk?

Mr. Miyagi Jokes More Mr. Miyagi Jokes

What does Mr. Miyagi do while Daniel-san waxes the car?

He wax off.

What does Mr. Miyagi do during his alone time?

Whacks on, whacks off.

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

What the hell is this?

Turkey bacon. *throws tray against wall* I'm hungry! Not desperate!

Why did Kennedy throw his head back?

He was taking a shot.