Negotiate Jokes

Why didn't the President fight with the chair?

Because we don't negotiate with chair-orrists.

$Your Age Is Only Math$

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Putin Jokes More Putin Jokes

How do you know Putin is late for Thanks Giving?

He's Russian to Turkey.

What will Putin be having for Thanksgiving dinner?

Turkey.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

How's the baby?

Me: He keeps trying to shove socks thru the mail slot. Wife: Aw. His socks or yours Me: Socks is the neighbor's cat..

How JokeExplainBot spent his weekend?

Explaining his wife.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What do you mean he's your half son?

What do you mean what do I mean?" replied the man. He went on to explain "My son has half my genes, that makes him my half-son." The woman he was talking to decided he was crazy and without replying walked past him. She looked back and noticed his neck was red, after all it was a sunny day.

What do you get if you cross a woman with a whale?

Your research funding suspended and a severe reprimand from the ethics committee.

Fight Jokes More Fight Jokes

Why, Bro?

B1: Men with no pants... Fighting for a belt... WTF

What's your emergency?

Boy: Hello? I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Boy: Two girls are fighting over me! 911: So what's your emergency? Boy: The ugly one is winning.