Neil Armstrong Jokes

Why did Neil Armstrong get to set foot on the moon before Buzz Aldrin?

They wrestled over it. Neil had the stronger arm.

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What is the difference between Bing Bong and Neil Armstrong?

Only one of them made it to the moon.

What did Neil Armstrong do after walking on the moon before Buzz Aldrin did?

Gize.

What would you call Neil Armstrong had he burnt up in the atmosphere returning to earth instead of landing safely?

An unfortu-naut... God that was horrible....

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How many Deadheads does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they just watch it burn out and follow it around for 30 years.

What's the difference between a crackhead and a John?

A crackhead buys crack so he can put it into his pipe and burn it. A John pays so that he can put his pipe into a crack that might burn him.

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Who's the most forgettable Disney/Pixar character?

Bing-Bong

What is the difference between Bing Bong and Neil Armstrong?

Only one of them made it to the moon.

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What's black on the outside and white on the inside?

Whitney Houston's nose

What's Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination?

HAAAAAAAAAAAND EYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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What is a Nuclear Physicist's favorite Genesis song?

Land of Cold-Fusion".

What's Peter Pan's brother's name?

Peter Pot. He gets so high he never lands.

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What's the difference between a statesman and a politician?

A statesman is a dead politician. God knows we need more statesman.

What's the difference between love, true love and showing off?

Spit, swallow, gargle.

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Why did Neil Armstrong get to set foot on the moon before Buzz Aldrin?

They wrestled over it. Neil had the stronger arm.

What's the most unfortunate name a prisoner can have?

Neil.

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Why did ISIS burn 10000 copies of "Dark Side Of The Moon"?

Because it's a terrible album.

Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon?

The food is great, but there’s just no atmosphere.

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What did earth say to the other planet?

You guys have no life!

What could possibly make moviegoers forget about Will Smith's movie After Earth?

A Concussion.