Peg Leg Jokes

What do you call a flight commandeered by pirates?

A peg leg.

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Why was the 'P' irate?

Because his peg leg made him go 'R'

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Where do one-legged waitresses work?

IHOP. Tipping your waitress takes on a whole new meaning.

What kind of coffee does a peg legged pirate drink?

Decalfinated.

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What does a lesbian pirate say?

Scissor me timbers!

What did one lesbian pirate say to the other?

Scissor me timbers!

Flight Jokes More Flight Jokes

How long is the flight?

A Polish man calls up an airline. "How long is the flight from Chicago to Warsaw?" "One minute..." "Thank you."

What is black and white and screams?

A. A nun falling down a flight of stairs.

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What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?

See you next month.

What does an 80 year old lesbian taste like?

Depends

Scissor Jokes More Scissor Jokes

What does a pirate say when they drop their scissors?

Scissor me timbers!

What do you call an innovation in scissors?

Cutting-edge technology

R Jokes More R Jokes

What's a Pirate's favorite letter?

Rrrrrrrr? You think it be R but it be sea

Why couldn't R get to P?

He had to wait in a Q!

Timber Jokes More Timber Jokes

What does a pirate say when they drop their scissors?

Scissor me timbers!

Why was the tree stretching?

So it could be timber!

Coffee Jokes More Coffee Jokes

What Do You Call it When Someone Steals Someone Else's Coffee?

A Mugging.

When Chris brought over his musl*m girlfriend to meet the family, what did they say?

Nice scarf! Must be cold where you came from! Do you guys want coffee?