Pew Jokes

What's the difference between a church and a mosque?

In a church you see pew, pew pew. In a mosque you hear pew pew pew.

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What happened to the guy who farted in church?

He sat in his own pew.

Why do Storm Troopers like churchs?

Cuz of all the pews. I hate myself

What does a laser in a church sound like?

Pew pew pew!

What does a church shooting sound like?

Pew! Pew!

What's a storm trooper's favorite pollster?

Pew! Pew! Pew!

Where do Tie Fighters sit in church?

In the *pew*.

What Happens when you fart in church?

You sit in your own pew

What sounds does a vicar's gun make?

Pew! Pew!

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What do churches and guns have in common?

They both go PEW PEW PEW

What's the difference between a church and a mosque?

In a church you see pew, pew pew. In a mosque you hear pew pew pew.

Tie Jokes More Tie Jokes

How do they tie things down on the space station?

They use astro knots.

What kind of tie is best to wear in a fight?

Muay Thai

Laser Jokes More Laser Jokes

Why was the laser sad?

All his gas is Argon.

What does a laser in a church sound like?

Pew pew pew!

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

Who's the nicest player in the NFL?

Drew Brees. The guy's a saint.

What's a magazine?

Asked every guy under 30.

Gun Jokes More Gun Jokes

How many NRA members does it take to change a light bulb?

More guns.

What's the difference between a man who owns a gun and a man who owns a bank?

A man with a gun can rob a bank. A man with a bank can rob the world. (Disclaimer: reword of someone else's post to FB today.)

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

What cologne do engineers wear?

Elon's musk

What's blue and white and sits up a tree?

A fridge wearing a denim jacket.

Church Jokes More Church Jokes

What do you call a book club that hasn't changed their book in a thousand years?

Church

Why did the duck get kicked out of church?

Because he was using fowl language!

Private School Jokes More Private School Jokes

Why did Bill and Hillary send Chelsea to a private school?

If they sent her to a public school the secret service would be out-gunned!

What do you call the Skunk who wears khaki's and goes to private school?

Preppy le Pew