Pretzel Jokes

What does a guy from Philly dunk his pretzel in?

A girl from Jersey.

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What did the detective say when he tripped over a pretzel left by the perp?

Well, that was an unexpected twist!

How do you like it?

Me: Salty...of course *slaps down $20 CG: We'll take two pretzels with salt Get outta the gutter pervs

What do you call a pretzel with roofies in it?

Forget-me-knots!

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Knot Jokes More Knot Jokes

What did the string say when the rope proposed marriage?

Let's knot.

How did the executioner learn about knots?

By watching the noose.

Roofy Jokes More Roofy Jokes

What do you call a pretzel with roofies in it?

Forget-me-knots!

What do you call it when you roofy a jello shot?

A Bill Cosby.

Trip Jokes More Trip Jokes

What do you get when you cross a matzo ball with LSD?

A trip to Israel.

What happened to the hippy chemistry teacher when he spilled his chemicals?

He tripped on acid

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

Where does a guy from Arkansas go to pick up girls?

Family reunions.

What's the difference between a laundry machine and a girl?

The washing machine doesn't get upset if I dump a load in it and never call back

Forget Jokes More Forget Jokes

What do you call a sapling in the military?

An Infantry! (Infant tree, a sapling is a baby/young tree Ah forget it!)

What do you say to Aziz Ansari when you forget his birthday?

Aziz, I'm sorry.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Where do astronauts leave their spacecraft?

At parking meteors.

What did the hippy who has been crashing on your couch for the last 2 weeks say when you asked him to leave?

Am I supposed to say the answer or let y'all guess for a bit!

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Which elf likes to click pictures?

SELFie

Why didn't Harry Potter want to date Hermione?

Because he likes to Hit it and Quidditch

Dunk Jokes More Dunk Jokes

How do you cure the hiccups?

Dunk your head in a bucket of water and pull it out twice.

Why did the reporter only dunk chips in the middle of the dip?

He just wanted the inside scoop.