Quidditch Jokes

Why don't they let gansters play Quidditch?

Cause gangsters always catch the snitch!

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Why are there a lot of problem gamblers in the Harry Potter universe?

Because they have a quidditch.

How is prison like quidditch?

The game ends when they catch the snitch

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Hermione Jokes More Hermione Jokes

Why was Harry Potter hufflepuffed after his date with Hermione?

She wouldn't let his ravenclaw slytherin her Gryffindor.

Why doesn't Hermione keep her money at Gringotts?

Offshore investment gains a better return.

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

What does Facebook and a conversation between two teenagers have in common?

A lot of likes

Why was the ghost sad?

A lot of different reasons.

Scratch Jokes More Scratch Jokes

Why is Vanilla Ice scratching his head?

Lice. Lice, maybe.

What's the most useful material?

Scratch. You can make anything from scratch.

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

Which four-member rock group doesn't sing or play music?

Mount Rushmore.

What's the definition of a gentleman?

Someone who knows how to play the bagpipe and doesn't.

Cause Jokes More Cause Jokes

What causes dry eyes?

Ducts out of water...

Why do graveyards have fences?

Cause everyone's dying to get in!

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What did Darth Vader do when his iTunes stopped responding?

He force quit.

Whenever I'm bored I stop a stranger and ask "where am I?

And whatever they say I runaway screaming "Hahaha I'm a genius! I can teleport!"

Game Jokes More Game Jokes

What animal is always at a game of cricket?

A bat.

What game do French schoolchildren like to play?

Simon 16

Catch Jokes More Catch Jokes

What do you tell an Irishman if you catch him urinating?

European.

How did the bad Canadian fisherman describe his only catch of the day?

Aboot this big.