Realise Jokes

Why was Orlando Bloom sad when he realised he wasn't able to build small toy houses?

Because he was Legolas.

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What did the smoked salmon say after it realised it was no longer ill?

I'm cured!

Why did the fish cross the ocean?

Watching the National Geographic channel always makes me wonder how animals like fish manage to travel thousands of miles,and how they know where to go. Then I realised they can measure distances so well because they have their own scales.

How do you know when you are too drunk to drive?

When you swerve to miss a tree and then realise it was your air freshener..

What's your strongest weakness?

Candidate: ... *Realises stupid question & thinks of cover up M: It's a trick question. You're hired!

What's worse than finding a horse's head on your pillow?

Realising the horse is alive and well and how much did I drink last night!

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Comment Jokes More Comment Jokes

Why was the programmer's code incomprehensible?

No comment.

Why was 11 afraid of 12?

Because 12 13 14!

Story Jokes More Story Jokes

Did you hear the story about the cheese that saved the world?

It was legend dairy.

Why is history called His story?

Because it's written by the Victors, not the Victorias.

Wonder Jokes More Wonder Jokes

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, a dyslexic, and an agnostic?

Some guy sitting up all night wondering if there really is a dog

What does an agnostic... dyslexic insomniac do at night?

He lays awake and wonders if there really is a dog.

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

Why didn't Princess Diana have very many friends on Xbox Live?

All she does is stay on the dashboard.

What do you call ice cream that robs a bank?

Heist cream Got to give credit to my friend, who sadly dosent have reddit.

Orlando Bloom Jokes More Orlando Bloom Jokes

Why was Orlando Bloom sad when he realised he wasn't able to build small toy houses?

Because he was Legolas.

Whats the best thing Orlando Bloom's ever been in?

Katy Perry

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

Why can't the sun talk?

First post) It doesn't have an ellipse.

Why does noone listen ever to the guy who talks with his mouth full?

He is so misunderstood.

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

How do trees encourage one another?

They say "I'm rooting for you"

Why does the forest stink during a storm?

Because the trees break wind.

Thousand Mile Jokes More Thousand Mile Jokes

Why did the fish cross the ocean?

What's white and streaks across the sky at a thousand miles an hour?

The coming of the Lord.