Scam Artist Jokes

What do you call a scam artist who uses his vocabulary to commit crimes?

A LexiCon

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What do you call a scam artist who is walking down the stairs?

Condescending

Why did the scale decide that the scam artists were heavier than the novels?

Because the cons outweighed the prose.

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Commit Jokes More Commit Jokes

What happens if a pyramid commits a crime?

It is put in imPRISMment!

What's the most casual crime you can commit?

Shooting the breeze.

Decide Jokes More Decide Jokes

What do you mean he's your half son?

What do you mean what do I mean?" replied the man. He went on to explain "My son has half my genes, that makes him my half-son." The woman he was talking to decided he was crazy and without replying walked past him. She looked back and noticed his neck was red, after all it was a sunny day.

How do cities decide who gets to be in charge of wastewater management?

They hold a runoff election.

Condescend Con Descending Jokes More Condescend Con Descending Jokes

What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.

What do you call a fugitive, talking down to you while fleeing down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.

Crime Jokes More Crime Jokes

What did the cat say when it was wrongfully accused of a crime and sent behind bars?

Let Meowt!!!!

Why didn't the movie ticket get convicted of both of its crimes?

It would only admit one.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

Why dont you like Taylor Swift?

Shes awesome!". Because I knew she was trouble when she walked in.

How do you walk a chicken on a leash?

You pullet.

Scale Jokes More Scale Jokes

Why did the fish cross the ocean?

Watching the National Geographic channel always makes me wonder how animals like fish manage to travel thousands of miles,and how they know where to go. Then I realised they can measure distances so well because they have their own scales.

How do you tune a fish?

With its scales!

Prose Jokes More Prose Jokes

Why did the scale decide that the scam artists were heavier than the novels?

Because the cons outweighed the prose.

What's the best thing about a poet in a prison?

Oh you know, it has its prose and cons. Badum Tish. Be gentle, first time here.

Vocabulary Jokes More Vocabulary Jokes

Why do you keep saying flail?

Because Fail isn't in my vocabulary. ------- Overheard on the train.

What do you call a scam artist who uses his vocabulary to commit crimes?

A LexiCon