Shingle Jokes

How many babies does it take to shingle a roof?

It depends on how thinly you slice them.

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How do you know your house had chicken pox?

It has shingles.

What do wives and shingles have in common?

If you don't nail them right, they'll end up at your neighbor's.

What did the hail storm say to the roof?

Hang onto your shingles this will be no ordinary sprinkles

What disease did the house have?

Shingles.

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What is the value of Pi?

Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99

How many Crusaders does it take to change a light bulb?

It depends on Deus Voltage

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Why was Jon Snow looking for an iWatch charger?

Because now his watch has ended.

What gets longer the more you cut it at both ends?

A ditch.

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How many lawyers does it take to shingle a roof?

Depends on how thick you slice 'em.

What's a martini's favorite garnish?

Olive 'em!

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What beer does Sean Connery drink?

Grols

How does Sean Connery's dog bark?

Woofsh

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Why do Mexican students act like they own the school?

Because there mom cleans it and there dad fixed the roof

What's Bill Cosby's favorite part of the house?

The roof.

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What clothes do lawyers wear to work?

Lawsuits.

When a hot blonde walks in. The one lawyer says, "Man, wouldn't you like to screw that?

And the other lawyer replies, "Outta what "

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What do Mexicans use to slice pizza?

Little Caesers

Who's there! Buddha! Buddha who?

Buddha this slice of bread for me!

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What do you get when you play a country song backwards?

Your wife back, your dog back, your house back...

How does a vampire clean his house?

With a victim cleaner.