Shingle Jokes

How do you know your house had chicken pox?

It has shingles.

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What did the hail storm say to the roof?

Hang onto your shingles this will be no ordinary sprinkles

What disease did the house have?

Shingles.

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Fix Jokes More Fix Jokes

What's the best way to fix a horse race?

Evolution.

How does a woman fix a ceiling problem?

She complains to a man.

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, one to climb the ladder, one to shake it, and one to sue the ladder company.

What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

1 in 50 million has a chance of becoming a human being.

End Jokes More End Jokes

Why did the 14 year old Mexican girl end up pregnant?

Because her teacher told her to go do an essay.

What gets longer the more you cut it at both ends?

A ditch.

House Jokes More House Jokes

Why didn't the electron leave it's house?

Because it was grounded.

What is stronger an elephant or a snail?

A snail because it carries it's house an elephant just carries its trunk!

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

Why does the NSA hate winter?

Because they're not used to getting Snowden.

What type of music do balloons hate?

Pop music!

Fan Jokes More Fan Jokes

What did Justin Bieber's biggest fan say to him when they met?

Nothing, hes a fan.

Why did the tree have lots of fans?

Because he was Poplar!

Them Jokes More Them Jokes

How do you get a Charmander and a Metapod on a train?

You poke 'em on.

What did the computer do with his overgrown gardens...?

Mowed 'em.

Sean Connery Jokes More Sean Connery Jokes

Where does Sean Connery keep his guns?

In the library of course. They're for shelf-defense.

When does Sean Connery enjoy playing his favorite sport?

Ten-ish.