User Jokes

What do computers and reincarnation have in common?

Switching Users

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

What did the /r/science mod say to the user?

Removed

What is that thing, which the maker cannot use, and the user cannot see?

Coffin

What's something that the inventor doesn't want, the buyer doesn't use, and the user doesn't know about it?

A casket

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a sandwich and a baby?

Doesn't matter, they both taste the same.

What is the difference between Jesus and a painting?

You only need a nail to hang a painting.

Expect Jokes More Expect Jokes

How do you know when it's time to get a new dishwasher?

When the old one expects you to "do your share"

What did the doctor say when he delivered a blonde-haired baby to an expecting Chinese couple?

Two Wongs don't make a white

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?

I don't know. He still hasn't opened his gifts.

What did the cashier say after handing down a wad of currency to Dracula?

Count Dracula.

Twitter User Jokes More Twitter User Jokes

What do Twitter users and regular humans have in common?

Both start off as eggs.

What do Twitter users and lollipops have in common?

They're mostly Dum Dums.

27 Jokes More 27 Jokes

How many skateboarders does it take to change a lightbulb?

One...but it takes him 27 tries

How do you get 27 kids to carve a statue?

Have everybody chip in.

Sean Murray Jokes More Sean Murray Jokes

What is Sean Murray's favorite song?

The sound of silence

What do you call someone who promises change but ends up burning millions of undesirables?

Sean Murray and PS4 users

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

Why couldn't the birthday clown make balloon animals for the children?

With the rising cost of inflation he couldn't afford it anymore.

What bounces and makes little children cry?

My donation check to Feed the Children!

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

Why did the astronomer break up with his girlfriend?

He just needed some space.

How did Jared Fogle lose 40 pounds?

He dumped his girlfriend.