Weirdo Jokes

What did one loaf of bread say to the other?

Weirdo.

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What kind of money do monsters use?

Weirdo (weird dough).

Where do weirdos ride their bicycles?

Psycho-paths. (as told by one of my coworkers)

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Bicycle Jokes More Bicycle Jokes

What's the difference between a man on a unicycle wearing a tuxedo and a man on a bicycle wearing a tank top?

Attire.

Why was the bicycle laying on the ground?

Because it was two-tired

Coworker Jokes More Coworker Jokes

Why did I join Twitter?

Well I was sick of only being hated by coworkers and family so I wanted to branch out.

Why should I let you into heaven?

Me: Once a coworker said "supposably" 7 times in a meeting & I just let her StP: Get in here

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What's worse than a chick telling you she only thinks of you as a friend?

When she says she thinks of you like a brother.

What do you think you're doing driving through that intersection fifty miles an hour?

Driver: My brakes don't work so I was rushing home before I had an accident.

Bread Jokes More Bread Jokes

Why did the airplane crash into the building?

BECAUSE THE PILOT WAS A LOAF OF BREAD!

How to you tell a naval officer from and RAF officer on an aircraft carrier?

The naval officer is trying to feed bread to the helicopters!

Monster Jokes More Monster Jokes

Why did the monster go into hospital?

To have his ghoul-stones removed.

What did the oyster say when the monster broke into his home?

Shucks

Ride Jokes More Ride Jokes

How long can 7 ride 8?

Til infinity.

What do you call a barking dog riding the subway?

A sub-woofer!!!

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of fish is funny, beautiful and a good role model for young women?

Tuna Fey.

What kind of music do balloons hate the most?

Pop music.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What's worse than your doctor telling you that you have gonorrhea?

Getting the news from your dentist

How do you confuse Hellen Keller?

Give her a basketball and tell her to read it.