How much ice does it take to preserve a dead body?

I ask on twitter because googling it gets people caught.

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People Jokes More People Jokes

What do people do for a party itinerary in the Jersey Shore?

Gym.Tan.Laundry.

How can you tell that you're getting old?

You go to an antique auction and three people bid on you!

Catch Jokes More Catch Jokes

What did Jesus' disciples say when he caught all those fishes?

HOLY MACKAREL!

What happened to the Polish dog?

He chewed off 3 legs and was still caught in the trap

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

When ur at chipotle n u ask for guac and they say "its extra is that ok?

If u say its not ok they give it to u for free

Why are we here?

Me: Philosophers still don't know 5: No, why are we HERE Wife: Your dad is lost and won't ask for directions

Twitter Jokes More Twitter Jokes

Why did voldermort used Twitter instead of Facebook?

Because he only had followers. Not friends.

How is Twitter like Game of Thrones?

There's 140 characters, and they are all terrible.

Google Jokes More Google Jokes

Why doesn't Bono like Google?

He still hasn't found what he's looking for.

Why did Yogi Bear only have a collar and a tie, and not a full dress shirt?

Patiently waits as you all Google pics of Yogi Bear*

Dead Body Jokes More Dead Body Jokes

What's Alderaan's main export?

Dead bodies.

What do you call a dead body and two planks?

A "Build your own Jesus" kit.

Ice Jokes More Ice Jokes

What do magistrates have with their water?

Just ice.

What does Batman take in his beverages?

Just...ice.