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What happened to the man with two wooden legs whose house burnt down?

He fell on his ash.

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Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

What has a slice of burnt toast and a pregnant girlfriend got in common?

In both cases you wish you took it out a few seconds earlier.

Why did the hipster burn his tongue drinking tea?

Because he didn't wait for it to be cool.

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens when a carpenter drinks with his wife?

He gets hammered and she gets nailed.

What happens when the lights go out in a Chinese restaurant?

It'll Dimsum.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why did the man get fired from the orange juice factory?

Because he couldn't concentrate.

What's the difference between Will Ferrell and a man with erectile dysfunction?

One can... "Get Hard"

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

Wheres the dinosaur bone exhibit?

Through that door" Thank you very ruff! "What'd you say " *2 dogs fall out of trench coat & run*

What do you call a pc that fell in the ocean?

A Dell rolling in the deep.

House Jokes More House Jokes

Why doesn't Santa have to pay for parking?

Because it's on the house.

What do you call an actor that has just paid off his house?

Mortgage Freeman

Ash Jokes More Ash Jokes

What do you call a man with a flamethrower?

2. What do you call his first victim 3. What do you call his second victim 1. Bernie 2. Crispin 3. Ash

What did Ash tell his Pokemon?

Pokemon Go!

Wooden Leg Jokes More Wooden Leg Jokes

What happened to the man with two wooden legs whose house burnt down?

He fell on his ash.

What did the pirate say when his wooden leg got stuck in the freezer?

Shiver me timbers!