What has 100 legs but can't walk?

Johnny: 50 pairs of pants? Jimmy: No, A centipede. Jhonny: What? why? Jimmy: Because I squished it

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Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

How did the octopus lovers walk down the road?

Arm in arm in arm in arm in arm in arm in arm in arm in arm.

What did one flea say to the other flea when they came out of the movies?

Should we walk home or take a dog

50 Jokes More 50 Jokes

Why is a room of 50 doctors safer than a room with 1000 doctors?

You can't survive in 1000 degrees. *credit to my friend Neriah.

How about some snappy one-liners?

Ironically, the only way you could get me to watch 50 shades of gray is if you tied me up and forced me to watch it.

Pant Jokes More Pant Jokes

What kind of pants do Bostonians wear?

Car Keys

What does JCPenny and teenagers have in common?

Pants 50% off

Jimmy Jokes More Jimmy Jokes

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

Because she didn't have any arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Definitely not Sally. Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck Why didn't the truck turn out of the way? Sally Was driving

Who him?

Oh that's just jimmy, I pay him to follow me around and inter- *saxophone solo* INTERRUPT MY SENTENCES WITH SAXOPHONE SOLOS.

100 Jokes More 100 Jokes

What has 100 legs and 3 teeth?

A centipede on meth.

What do you call 100 black people on a plane to Africa?

A good start.

Johnny Jokes More Johnny Jokes

Why did Johnny drop his ice cream?

Because he got hit by a truck!

What does Johnny Depp yell when a tree falls in the forest?

Timbuuuuuurrrrrrrrton!

100 Leg Jokes More 100 Leg Jokes

What has 100 legs and sixteen teeth?

The front row of a Willie Nelson concert.

What has 100 legs but can't walk?

Johnny: 50 pairs of pants? Jimmy: No, A centipede. Jhonny: What? why? Jimmy: Because I squished it

Centipede Jokes More Centipede Jokes

Why was the centipede late?

Because he was playing "This little Piggy" with his baby brother!

What goes 99 clonk, 99 clonk, 99 clonk?

A centipede with a wooden leg!

Squish Jokes More Squish Jokes

What has 100 legs but can't walk?

Johnny: 50 pairs of pants? Jimmy: No, A centipede. Jhonny: What? why? Jimmy: Because I squished it

Who the hell does that in a sock?

Squishes out of the room*