Why is your face all scratched?

My girlfriend said it with flowers. How romantic. Not really she hit me round the head with a bunch of thorny roses!

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Face Jokes More Face Jokes

What is Rihanna's favorite song?

I can't feel my face when i'm with you

What is a oreo?

2 gang members smashing a white boys face.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What's the trick to satisfying your wife or girlfriend with only 3.5 inches?

Visa or Mastercard?

How did the phone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.

Scratch Jokes More Scratch Jokes

Why did the man call his horse Fleabag?

Because he was often scratched!

How do you get rid of an itch?

Start from scratch.

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

When I'm dead, I'm going to haunt offices and say, "OooOoo... why are you using your mouse?

Hit Control-C... you're taking forever...

What do physics majors do when they hit the club?

They torque it..

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What was the point in making your car louder, bro?

Do you really want women to turn their heads and notice you drive a 1999 Honda Civic

What goes on forever with no head?

A loveless marriage.

Round Jokes More Round Jokes

What do you call a group of sorority girls/fraternity guys standing in a circle?

A round of applause...because they all have the clap.

How many volunteers do we have for the army?

384 sir" "okay round them up" "400 sir"

Flower Jokes More Flower Jokes

Why do flowers and beer get along so well?

They're buds

What kind of flower grows on your face?

Tulips.

Bunch Jokes More Bunch Jokes

What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?

A bingo machine.

What's the difference between a girl's track team and a village of pygmies?

One's a bunch of cunning runts.....