It is when the blind try to read your face
Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
Coffee Mug
They always worry about the worst case!
You shall not gas!
I have no idea. Nobody ever tried.
You'll get exhausted
Putting criminals behind bars seems like a bad idea once you consider all the alcohol they're now next to
ME: Soul crushing and void of meaning W: I meant your meal M: Soul crushing, void of meaning, and needs salt
6: no M: oh for the bath 6: no M: the pool 6: *doesnt break eye contact* no
A leaf blower
Darn tootin'! (this is so dumb im sorry)
Well they'd look silly with long hair!
Wife: They'll get lazy and dependent and never, ever go away. Me: *looks warily at our kids*
Tequila mockingbird Or Ernest Hemingway
Tequila mockingbird.
In case he got a hole in one.
In case you get a hole-in-one (stolen from some girl at school)
Me: Well, all the women text you except the one you like. And it hurts, so we drink. Sister: Get away from him!
Me: "I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."
