Bad Case Jokes

Why are all computer scientists such pessimists?

They always worry about the worst case!

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

What two letters do you say when you answer the phone?

LO

How do you feel when your phone suddenly starts blaring your least favorite tune?

Alarmed.

Bad Idea Jokes More Bad Idea Jokes

Whose bad idea was it to text him a 4th time just in case his phone was being weird?

Tequila, I'm looking at you.

Why is it a bad idea to change clothes at a Pokemon's house?

Because he might Pikachu!

Bad Gas Jokes More Bad Gas Jokes

Why has Venus been so distant lately?

Mars answers "shes been under a lot of pressure and has really bad gas"

Face Jokes More Face Jokes

How did your mom know you hadn't washed your face?

I forgot to wet the soap.

Why are ships' portholes round?

So that if they break, water doesn't hit you square in the face.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

Why Did Superman Save a Burning Chemistry Lab?

He was trying to save Krypton

Why is there no volume control on the microwave?

Must it always wake the entire house when I'm trying to quietly nuke the last of the pizza

M Jokes More M Jokes

What'd u ask Santa for 6: a speed boat M: like a Lego boat?

6: no M: oh for the bath 6: no M: the pool 6: *doesnt break eye contact* no

Why is the new Zork game rated M for mature?

I guess it's too grue-some.

Text Jokes More Text Jokes

How do you get a Samsung owner to throw their phone out the window?

End your text with "this message will self destruct in 10 seconds"

What do you call a girl who expects a guy to do everything for her, make all the first moves, and text her first every day?

SINGLE

Acne Jokes More Acne Jokes

What do you call a 30 foot purple dinosaur named Fred who has acne and is scared of penguins?

Fred.