Bad Case Jokes

Why are all computer scientists such pessimists?

They always worry about the worst case!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Bad Idea Jokes More Bad Idea Jokes

Why do we keep putting criminals behind bars?

Putting criminals behind bars seems like a bad idea once you consider all the alcohol they're now next to

Why is it a bad idea to get in a relationship with a statue?

Because it's not going anywhere.

Text Jokes More Text Jokes

What do you call a girl who expects a guy to do everything for her, make all the first moves, and text her first every day?

SINGLE

When people on Facebook say they lost their phone and need everyone's numbers again, I text them: "Guess who?

For 2 weeks.

M Jokes More M Jokes

What are you gonna do today?

Me: Shower. W: ...what else M: Make a new iTunes playlist. W: Wow. M: Might not have time for a shower.

How do you spell ichael?

The teacher was rather bewildered. "Don't you mean Michael " she asked. "No ma'am. I've written the 'M' already."

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

What do you call someone who reads in the sun?

Well Red.

What do blind trains read?

Raile!

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell if a hamburger was grilled in space?

It's a little meteor.

What does a quantum physicist tell their toddler who keeps asking "Why" over and over?

Because I saw so.

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

Why did The Hobbit put his phone on silent?

Because he was bored of the rings!

Why did Avogadro have trouble picking up chicks?

Because his number couldn't fit in their phones

Tequila Jokes More Tequila Jokes

What do you call alcohol in a bird bath?

Tequila mockingbird

What do you get when you mix up literature and alcohol?

Tequila mockingbird Or Ernest Hemingway

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What did the neckbeard say when he looked in the mirror?

M'self

Who does he look like?

I'm like, 'Your husband'