It is when the blind try to read your face
They always worry about the worst case!
I told her 'No, thanks. The carton works fine.'
Please leaf me alone! Or I'll tell my mom, and you'll get in trouble.
The deputy head!
He was sent to the udder side
Timmy's in the old well L: Arf arf He's dead You sure L: Arf! Okay here's a check for $5K L: ima need cash
Candidate: ... *Realises stupid question & thinks of cover up M: It's a trick question. You're hired!
Mars answers "shes been under a lot of pressure and has really bad gas"
Tequila, I'm looking at you.
Tequila mocking bird
End your text with "this message will self destruct in 10 seconds"
Me: "I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."
Fred.
CAT: *bolts for no apparent reason* ME: *bolts in the opposite direction in case she's after both of us*
In case he got a hole in one.
