Bar Jokes

A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get for you?"

Pop,goes the weasel.

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Two guys walk into a bar...

The first guy says "Ouch!" and the second says "Yeah, I didn't see it either."

A DHCP packet walks into a bar and asks for a beer.

Bartender says, "here, but I’ll need that back in an hour!"

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Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What's wet and wiggly and says how do you do sixteen times?

Two octopuses shaking hands.

What has two thumbs and got laid last night?

My hands.

Star War Jokes More Star War Jokes

What programming language do they use in Star Wars?

JawaScript

What is it called when two celebrities are fighting?

Star Wars.

Terrorist Jokes More Terrorist Jokes

What was the terrorist's pick up line?

Hey babe, I've got a large pipe bomb and I never pre-maturely detonate.

How did the terrorist get into Czechoslovakia?

They didn't Czech his papers.

Ball Jokes More Ball Jokes

What's your emer- DOG: HE THREW A BALL BUT I CAN'T FIND IT DOG 911: He still holding it?

DOG: YES! HOW'D HE FETCH IT BEFORE ME

What goes "ha ha, thump thump?

A guy laughing his balls off.

Skunk Jokes More Skunk Jokes

How do skunks like their e-mails?

Scent.

What would you get if you crossed a skunk with a type of Easter candy?

Smelly beans!

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of Asian dish takes away your freedoms?

Kung Pao Chicken

What kind of computer is optimized for sad songs?

A Dell.

House Jokes More House Jokes

How does Bill Gates enter his house?

A. He uses "windows".

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to your house... Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken.

Hot Day Jokes More Hot Day Jokes

What are the hottest days during summer?

Sun-days

How is a thief like a thermometer on a hot day?

They are both up to something.