Bar Jokes

A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get for you?"

Pop,goes the weasel.

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Two guys walk into a bar...

The first guy says "Ouch!" and the second says "Yeah, I didn't see it either."

A DHCP packet walks into a bar and asks for a beer.

Bartender says, "here, but I’ll need that back in an hour!"

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State Jokes More State Jokes

Which US state is the friendliest towards the Japanese?

Ohio

Which state smells the worst?

The Prostate

Terrorist Jokes More Terrorist Jokes

What does a terrorist and a soccer player have in common?

Mossack Fonseca.

Where did the terrorist go after the explosion?

Everywhere..

Gut Jokes More Gut Jokes

Why did the kid run across the freeway?

To show his friends he had guts. And boy, did he have guts.

Why did the zombie cross the road?

To get his guts back. My three year old made that one up, I though it was pretty good

Ride Jokes More Ride Jokes

What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?

Bronchitis (bronc-itis).

Why didn't the motorcycle want to go for a ride?

It was two tired...

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

When I lose faith in humanity, I think of Chili's just handing out sick, light-up beepers, trusting us to return them. And know what?

We do.

What did the management consultant think of his job?

It was the Bain of his existence.

Door Jokes More Door Jokes

What do you call a lightbulb that holds the door for you?

A polite bulb.

When is your door annoying?

When it'sa Jar-Jar.

Space Bar Jokes More Space Bar Jokes

What do a lonely astronaut and your thumbs have in common?

They both hang out at the Space Bar.

Where does the thumb meet its type?

At the SPACE BAR! reddit is fun! I'm staring at the keyboard tryin' to think up a joke and voila'!

Eskimos Jokes More Eskimos Jokes

What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice?

Polar-oids

What do Eskimos get from sitting on a block of ice?

A. Polaroids.