Budget Jokes

What do you call a budget that's cut short from the middle?

A midget.

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Why was the accountant constipated?

He couldn't budget.

What is a Budget?

An orderly system for living beyond your means.

Why couldn't the accountant keep his car in working order?

Because it broke down and he couldn't budget.

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Constipate Jokes More Constipate Jokes

What did the constipated mathematician do?

He worked it out with a pencil.

What's the difference between a sniper with bad eyesight and a constipated owl?

One shoots but can't hit, the other hoots but can't sh...

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What happened when the car took LSD?

It went on a road trip and had an auto body experience!

What car do polite cowboys drive?

Audi!

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

What country do I live?

Iran

What do you call the horse than lives next door?

A neighbour!

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why are elevator jokes so funny?

Because they work on so many levels

What does a witch use to see if her spells are going to work?

Spell check!

Midget Jokes More Midget Jokes

What did the midget give her boyfriend after his concert?

A Standing Blow-vation.

What's the best thing a midget can catch?

Air.

Accountant Jokes More Accountant Jokes

What does it mean when an accountant is drooling out of both sides of his mouth?

His desk is level

Why did God invent economists?

So accountants could have someone to laugh at.

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

What do you call a man who cuts down trees?

A tree feller.

What do you call a Knight that cuts beef?

Sir Loin.

Middle Jokes More Middle Jokes

What do you call a Punjabi fellow stuck in the middle of a shark-filled ocean?

Amandeep trouble.

Whats the best place to drive to in Iowa?

The Middle. That way, you're always driving out of Iowa.