Budget Jokes

What do you call a budget that's cut short from the middle?

A midget.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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Why was the accountant constipated?

He couldn't budget.

What is a Budget?

An orderly system for living beyond your means.

Why couldn't the accountant keep his car in working order?

Because it broke down and he couldn't budget.

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Live Jokes More Live Jokes

What do you call a bee that lives in America?

A USB.

Where did the Candian pirate live?

Ont**ARR**io

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

How many philosophers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Well it depends on what you mean by change.

What does it mean when the Post Office flag is flying at half-staff?

They are hiring.

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What kind of car does Yoda drive?

A Toy-Yoda

Why didn't George like driving through tunnels with people in his car?

He didn't want to get carpool tunnel syndrome.

Constipate Jokes More Constipate Jokes

What do mathmeticians do when they are constipated?

Work it out with a pencil

What does the math teacher do when he gets constipated?

Works it out with a pencil.

Midget Jokes More Midget Jokes

What do you call a midget psychic running from the cops?

A small medium at large!

What do you call a midget who directs Dirty Jobs?

A Micromanager.

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

How do you make a dog sound like a cat?

You freeze it, put it on a bandsaw and cut it; "Meoooow".

How does the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it.

Break Jokes More Break Jokes

How do I know ur not a cop?

If I was a cop would I do this " *Starts break dancing* That's not as much proof as you think it is

What's the difference between a pizza and a baby?

A pizza doesn't scream when you break it in 8.

Accountant Jokes More Accountant Jokes

Why did the accountant cross the road?

Because that's what they did last year.

Why is Adam known as the first accountant?

He turned a leaf and made an entry.