Constipate Jokes

What did the constipated mathematician do?

He worked it out with a pencil.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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How do you say constipated in German?

Farhfrumpoopin'.

What does the internet need to take when its constipated?

Google Fiber Note: Randomly came up with this joke today

Why was the accountant constipated?

He couldn't budget.

What does the math teacher do when he gets constipated?

Works it out with a pencil.

What do you call a constipated mason?

A brick-layer.

What does a Math Professor do when he's constipated?

He works it out with a pencil.

What does a mathematics professor do when he is constipated?

He works it out with a pencil.

What do mathematicians do when they are constipated?

They get a pencil and work it out.

What did Yoda say to Luke when he was constipated?

Try or try not, there is no do.

What do mathmeticians do when they are constipated?

Work it out with a pencil

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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Why the carpenter is always constipated?

Because his stool so hard!

What does a novice woodworker have in common with a constipated woodworker?

In the end, both are lucky to produce a stool.

When Bruce Banner gets constipated do you think he turns into The Hulk?

Just one of the thoughts I have during important business meetings

What laxative did the constipated man ask for?

Poop-ease

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What is the worst thing anyone can do to a blind man?

Leave a plunger in the toilet!

Why did the T-Rex's girlfriend leave him?

Because he said he only loved her this much (hold out t-rex like arms) Sorry this one requires a bit of a visual, but I thought you guys might like it

German Jokes More German Jokes

Why couldn't the woman date a German man?

Because she was Klaustrophobic!

What do you call a German singalong?

Follow the lieder!

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What do you call a film director with bad eyesight?

Squintin' Tarantino

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What do you call a guy in a suit sitting in a tree?

Branch Manager

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Unless you want to sit through a 13 hour PowerPoint presentation.

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What happened when the owl lost his voice?

He didn't give a hoot!

What do you get if you cross a skunk and an owl?

A bird that stinks but doesn't give a hoot!

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Why was the New Englander so intent on looking for his khakis?

Cuz he needed to pahk da cah in da yahd.

Which of Santa's reindeers needs to mind his manners the most?

Rude"olph

Stick Jokes More Stick Jokes

Why is a train like a stick of gum?

One goes choo-choo the other goes chew-chew.

What do you call a book club that's been stuck on the same book for thousands of years?

Church.

Rid Jokes More Rid Jokes

Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?

All they said was, Bach, Bach, Bach

How does a mathematician get rid of constipation?

He works it out with a pencil.