Carpool Tunnel Jokes

Why did the man go to the doctor after taking his friend to work?

He had carpool tunnel

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How do people with injured hands commute to work?

Carpool tunnels

Why was the road in so much pain?

Because it has a carpool tunnel.

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Pain Jokes More Pain Jokes

What is a French bakers lifestyle like?

Its a life of pain

What's the difference between a vampire with toothache and a rainstorm?

One roars with pain and the other pours with rain.

People Jokes More People Jokes

How do you please all the people?

Tell them Ellen Pao has stepped down as of today!

What do you call a grocery store for people with dementia?

Question Mart.

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What does Bill Cosby do when he can't sleep at night?

He finishes her drink EDIT: Apparently this is Conan's joke, so all credit goes to him. I just heard it from a friend of mine and I had no idea.

Why can't there be some sort of mathematic formula for making friends?

A squadratic formula, if you will.

Avoid Jokes More Avoid Jokes

What food should you avoid if you don't want to go to court?

Sue-shi! I'll excuse myself.

What is the difference between everyone and bullets?

I avoid everyone

Tunnel Jokes More Tunnel Jokes

What's the difference between a optimist, a pessimist and a realist?

The optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel. The pessimist sees nothing. And the realist sees the train.

What do you get when you cross the Queen and Prince Charles?

Dead in a tunnel.

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

What's the worst part about driving Ford off a cliff?

Ford was my best friend.

What did the pirate say about the steering wheel in his pants?

Arrg, it's driving me nuts!

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why doesn't men use make-up or perfume?

Because we're beautiful and smell good!

Why did the man get a job as a horse handler?

He wanted stable employment

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What car does a Mexican drive?

A Quebrolet.

What did the tornado say to the car?

('You wanna go for a spin ')