Carpool Tunnel Jokes

Why did the man go to the doctor after taking his friend to work?

He had carpool tunnel

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How do people with injured hands commute to work?

Carpool tunnels

Why was the road in so much pain?

Because it has a carpool tunnel.

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Bridge Jokes More Bridge Jokes

Why did the Mexican push his wife over the bridge?

Tequila

Why did the commuter want the carpool driver to take the bridge?

To avoid car-pool tunnel!

Injure Jokes More Injure Jokes

What is an injured persons favorite movie?

Cast Away

Where would you put an injured insect?

In an antbulance!

Pain Jokes More Pain Jokes

How long have you been in pain?

Women: It started at 7:45am on Monday while I was at work Men: Sometime between yesterday and 1997

What dinosaur was in the most pain?

The tyranno-sorest rex

People Jokes More People Jokes

Why did the hotel manager refuse to rent his rooms out to people?

He needed places to hide the bodies.

What's the most awkward aspect of bar-tending at an internet cafe?

You have to deal with people who forget to close their tabs.

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

Why do blondes drive VWs?

Because they can spell it.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs driving a car?

Rex (made this one up myself!)

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

What do you call a group of medical professionals who navigate around the Horn of Africa without being accosted by pirates?

Doctors without boarders.

How much longer do I have doc?

Doctor: "Ten." Patient: "Ten what " Doctor: "Nine..."

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What did one renewable power source say to the other?

How did I wind up here I don't know man just go with the flow.

What goes ha, ha, ha, clunk?

A man laughing his head off.

Avoid Jokes More Avoid Jokes

How do you get a hipster to take a shower?

Give them a leaky showerhead. You know, so they can avoid the main stream.

What was your college major?

Me: How to avoid student-loan debt, with a minor in teen pregnancy.