Crimea Jokes

What's the current number one song in Russia?

Crimea river

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How Many Russians Does It Take To Invade Crimea?

None according to the Russians.

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Where in Eastern Europe does Justin Timberlake like to kayaking?

Crimea River

What is a Russian man's favourite Justin Timberlake song?

Crimea River

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What did JFK say before going to visit Marilyn Monroe?

I choose to go to Marilyn's hotel room this night and do the naughty things, not because she is easy, but because I am hard.

Why don't nervous vegans visit Germany?

They fear the wurst!

People Jokes More People Jokes

What do you call the people who make sandwiches at Subway?

Sub humans.

How does a Confederate flag and a rainbow flag differ?

The latter represents people that win.

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Why did they release Star Wars 4, 5 & 6 before 1, 2 & 3?

Because off sequence, Yoda was.

What's the deal with airline food?

Buy 2 get 1 free

River Jokes More River Jokes

What did the electrician say while swimming across a river?

Oh my God, that's a lot of current!

What do you get if you cross a river with a bridge?

To the other side.

Ukrainian Jokes More Ukrainian Jokes

Why should you never wear Ukrainian underwear?

Because Chernobyl fall off.

Why shouldn't you wear Ukrainian underwear?

Because Chernobyl fallout.

Swim Jokes More Swim Jokes

What did the bee use to dry off after swimming?

A *bee*ch towel. What did the bee use to get out the tangles A honeycomb.

Why do sharks swim in salt water?

Because pepper water makes them sneeze!

Invade Jokes More Invade Jokes

What do you call a group of invading pirates?

An **Arrr**my

What fictional city can ISIS not invade by land?

Gotham City.