Duck Tape Jokes

What is sticky and quacks?

Duck tape!

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How do birds record their songs?

On duck tape!

What did scrooge mcduck use to educate huey, dewey and louie?

Duck tapes

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Quack Jokes More Quack Jokes

Why were the ducks arrested?

They were selling quack in the park.

What do you call a duck addicted to crack?

A quack head. What is a ducks favorite snack Quackers. Why couldn't the duck drive his car His windshield was quacked.

Duck Jokes More Duck Jokes

What do you get when you cross a duck and a cat?

A Chinese restaurant's newest entree!

Why did the duck cross the basketball court?

He heard the referees were blowing fouls... -Jim Norton

Song Jokes More Song Jokes

What the hell am I doing here?

I don't belong here. GUY: I love that song. ME: What song

What song do they play at a Jehovah's witness funeral?

Knock, knock, knockin on Heavens door

Record Jokes More Record Jokes

What is the oldest joke we have on record?

X-post) http://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/2krnv8/whatistheoldestjokewehaveonrecord/

Why didnt Spock make a record of their voyage?

Because it was deep space. (the joke is how the outer space was very deep)

Duct Tape Jokes More Duct Tape Jokes

Why is the Force like duct tape?

It has a dark side, a light side, and it holds the universe together.

Why I love duct tape?

It can turn "No, no no!" into "mmph, mmmph, mmmph"

Educate Jokes More Educate Jokes

What do you call someone who does a BA in Arts, a MA in English and a PhD in Gender Studies?

A well educated Barista

What is the most well educated type of nut?

Macademia.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What online image hosting service do puppies use to post their puppy pictures?

Imgrrrrrrr

What did Russians used to light their houses with before candles?

Electricity.

Scrooge Mc Duck Jokes More Scrooge Mc Duck Jokes

What do Scrooge McDuck and dragons have in common?

They love to swim in gold coins.

What did scrooge mcduck use to educate huey, dewey and louie?

Duck tapes