Elton John Jokes

What's the difference between Elton John's chin and Tiger Woods?

Tiger Woods hasn't hit as many balls.

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Why did Elton John have to go to hospital after the Queen concert?

They found traces of Mercury in him.

What's pink and sits on a piano chair?

Elton's John

What's Elton John's favorite kind of conditioner?

Levon.

What kind of fruit is also a vegetable?

Elton John in a coma.

Why did Elton John's trucking company only work weekends?

Because Saturday nights alright for freighting.

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Freight Jokes More Freight Jokes

Why did Elton John's trucking company only work weekends?

Because Saturday nights alright for freighting.

Why didn't the cargo ship want to leave the bay?

Because it was a freight!

David Beckham Jokes More David Beckham Jokes

What do you call a robber who looks like David Beckham?

Bandit like Beckham

John Jokes More John Jokes

Why don't you talk to John anymore, you used to be best friends?

Son: Well, would you be friends with someone who was stupid, took drugs and was drunk all the time? Mom: No, Never! Son: Well neither would he!

What do you call a 1 ton toilet?

EL-ton John

Hospital Jokes More Hospital Jokes

Why did the dog go to the hospital?

He was feeling ruff.

What do hospitals and refrigerators have in common?

If you pull the plug, the vegetables start to decompose.

Saturday Night Jokes More Saturday Night Jokes

What song was playing at Pulse last Saturday night?

It's Raining Men

Where do cows go on Saturday nights?

The slaughter house

Saturday Jokes More Saturday Jokes

Why are Saturday and Sunday strong?

Because all the other days are week days.

Why did Elton John's trucking company only work weekends?

Because Saturday nights alright for freighting.

Fruit Jokes More Fruit Jokes

What kind of underwear does a person wear when buried?

Fruit of the tomb

What can turn a fruit into a vegetable?

Jeffrey Dahmer!

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of line gets thicker and thinner at the same time?

A line of marathon runners

What kind of pants does Super Mario wear?

Denim denim denim