Elton John Jokes

What's the difference between Elton John's chin and Tiger Woods?

Tiger Woods hasn't hit as many balls.

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What's hit more balls than David Beckham's right foot?

Elton John's chin.

What did Elton John call his tribute to Mother Teresa?

Sandals in the Bin

Why did Elton John have to go to hospital after the Queen concert?

They found traces of Mercury in him.

What's pink and sits on a piano chair?

Elton's John

What is both a fruit and a vegetable?

Elton John in a coma.

What's Elton John's favorite kind of conditioner?

Levon.

What kind of fruit is also a vegetable?

Elton John in a coma.

Why did Elton John's trucking company only work weekends?

Because Saturday nights alright for freighting.

What is Oedipus Rex's Mom's favorite Elton John song?

Don't Let The Son Go Down On Me

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Conditioner Jokes More Conditioner Jokes

What's Elton John's favorite kind of conditioner?

Levon.

How did Pavlov keep his dogs so fluffy?

He used conditioner on them.

Trace Jokes More Trace Jokes

Why did Elton John have to go to hospital after the Queen concert?

They found traces of Mercury in him.

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

What is brown and sits in a toilet in a Dutch attic?

The diarrhea of Anne Frank.

Why did the dog sit in the shade?

It didn't want to be a hotdog. *ba dum tsss *ba dum tish idk

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

Which Kind Of Girls Wear Transparent Clothes?

"Those Girls Who Don't Trust The Imagination Power Of A Boy"

What kind of suit does a lawyer like best?

The Spanish Inquisition.

Ball Jokes More Ball Jokes

How do you make a pool table laugh?

Jiggle its balls

How do you shave your balls?

After thinking for a few moments I say "Carefully"

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

What did the Mexican firefighter call his two sons?

Jos and Hose-B

Why does Mommy always say no?

Well Son, if Mommy said yes all the time you'd have 20 more siblings.

Saturday Jokes More Saturday Jokes

What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?

They go on peck-nics!

Why did Clemson choose orange as its team color?

So they could play football on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up garbage the rest of the week.

Fruit Jokes More Fruit Jokes

What did the doctor say When a fruit walked into his office that was feeling like a vegetable?

What's tomato with you!

What type of fruit do twins prefer?

Pears.