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Favourite Jokes

What is a Brit's favorite letter?

You'd think it would be "T", but it is "U". *Favourite, btw.

I Love Pizza & You

I Love Pizza & You

How do jockeys determine which racehorses are the favourites?

They take a gallop poll!

What's a ghosts favourite Christmas entertainment?

A phantomime!

Who are the hamburgers favourite people?

Vegetarians!

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Professor Jokes More Professor Jokes

What is the chance we are alone in the universe?

Professor: Astronomical.

What do you call it when Professor X does a wheelie?

Professor +

Duck Favourite Drug Jokes More Duck Favourite Drug Jokes

Whats a ducks favourite drug?

Quack cocaine

What is a ducks favourite drug?

Quack

Rock Jokes More Rock Jokes

Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock?

Because it was marble cake!

Why shouldn't you throw a rock at a Mexican riding a bike?

Because that might be your bike

Shortcut Jokes More Shortcut Jokes

What do you call a cat who takes a shortcut in a race?

A Cheetah.

What's The Donald's favourite keyboard shortcut?

Command Alt Right.

Bonus Jokes More Bonus Jokes

What do you call a group of armpit farters?

A pit orchestra. Bonus: World Record for Armpit Farts in 15s(https://recordsetter.com/world-record/most-armpit-farts-15-seconds/9602)

What do you call a leper in a jacuzzi?

Stew. Bonus: what do you do if an epileptic jumps into a jacuzzi? You throw in your laundry.

Tour Jokes More Tour Jokes

What is the definition of a Soviet String Quartet?

A Soviet Symphony Orchestra after a tour of the USA!

What's your favourite animal joke?

I give tours at a zoo. Each tour goes for a couple of hours so it is good to engage the guests and make the tour a bit more fun. What is your favourite animal joke I can use at work?

Couple Jokes More Couple Jokes

How can you tell if a girl is ticklish?

Give her a couple of test tickles...

What was the most successful love story in Game of Thrones?

Shireen. She was only on Tinder for a couple of minutes.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why did the elephant paint its nails red?

So it could hide in the strawberry patch.... Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch? No? See, it worked!

What's the difference between Olive Garden and Reddit?

At Olive Garden the servers actually work.