Holiness Jokes

What do you call the pope after a drive by?

Your holiness

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Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

What is "attempted theft" exactly?

I mean it's not like you see school librarians seeing a student use Wikipedia on one of the computers and puts them in detention for "attempted plagiarism"

Whatya doin?

Me: I fixed the toilet so I'm adding Potty Fixer to my resume W: You mean Plumber M: DO I LOOK LIKE A HOUSE SCIENTIST

Blanket Jokes More Blanket Jokes

What does a blanket say to the other after a game of chess?

Well plaid.

What did the blanket say when he fell off the bed?

Aw sheet! One of my favorite, cheesiest jokes of all time. Thought it would be a good first post to Reddit!

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

What do fish talk about at work?

Current events

What'd you do?

PERSON: Ran a half-marathon and helped my pal move. You ME: I talked to like 4 people.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How can you tell if a person works in HR or IT?

Ask them to pronounce the following: **HIRES**

When people say "May I ask who's calling?

I like to say "Sure, go ahead."

Holy Sheet Jokes More Holy Sheet Jokes

What did the pastor say when his blanket rose up from his bed?

Holy Sheet!

What did the Pope say when he first saw the Shroud of Turin?

Holy Sheet!

Scare Jokes More Scare Jokes

Why did a gambler scare everyone out swimming?

He was a card shark!

Who plays those kind of jokes anymore?

You're scaring my wife. She's only 12, jeez.

Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What did the bed say to the sleepy man?

I want you inside me

How do you stop millions of children from going to bed hungry every night?

Take away their beds...

Crucify Jokes More Crucify Jokes

What did they call Jesus Christ when he was crucified?

Holy

How did Jesus feel when they crucified him?

He was cross.