Boil Jokes

How do you make holy water?

Boil the hell out of it.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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What do you call a cat that has boils on its skin and can't feel it's toes?

A leperd

What is the most annoying part of boiling vegetables?

Finding a pot big enough for the wheelchair.

How do you know when your vegetables are boiled?

Their wheelchair floats to the top.

Why are you not able to boil water in a tauntaun?

Because they're not real.

What was said the boiled waters funeral?

You will be mist.

What's the difference between a soldier and a sailor?

Ever tried dipping a sailor in a boiled egg?

What did the egg say when it was about to be hard boiled?

It's gonna take a while to get me hard, because I just got laid by a chick!

What do you get when you boil tree trunks with sugar?

Log jam.

Why was Easter the aardvark's favorite holiday?

Because he liked aard-boiled eggs!

What's an Irish Seven Course Dinner?

A boiled potato and a six-pack of Guinness Stout.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Why was the cook sad when all the water in his pot boiled away?

Because he mist it.

What do they have for lunch at Monster School?

Human beans boiled legs pickled bunions and eyes-cream.

What do you call an English teacher five feet tall covered from head to toe in boils and totally bald?

Sir!

What do you get when you pour boiling hot water down a rabbit hole at Easter?

Hot Cross Bunnies!

What do you get if you boil funnybones?

A laughing stock.

What are you having?

First cannibal: Hard-boiled legs.

What on Earth happened?

The doctor said, surprised. "I don't know, it started with a boil on my arse." the frog said.

Why do Americans drink their tea cold?

Because it takes too long to boil Boston Harbor.

What's the difference between Frankenstein and boiled potatoes?

You can't mash Frankenstein.

What is hail?

Hard boiled rain!

What is hail?

Hard-boiled rain.

Why do Mexicans hate cooking pasta?

When they boil the water, they always have to add that *pinche* salt.

If you boil a clown...

Do you get a laughing stock?

How do you make holy water?

You boil the hell out of it

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Boiling Water Jokes More Boiling Water Jokes

Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?

He had a very esteemed colleague.

What did the Easter egg say to the boiling water?

Gonna take a while to get me hard, I just got laid by a chick.

Wheelchair Jokes More Wheelchair Jokes

What's the hardest part to cook in a vegetable?

The wheelchair

What did the shooting range instructor say to the guy in a wheelchair?

Parachute

Scream Jokes More Scream Jokes

What's stronger, fifty watts of sound or fifty watts of light?

I don't care but would you please stop screaming, turning the lights on and off.

Why did Raggedy Anne get kicked out of the toybox?

She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face and screaming "Lie to me! Lie to me!!!"

Rabbit Hole Jokes More Rabbit Hole Jokes

What do you get if you pour boiling water down rabbit holes?

Hot cross bunnies!

What do you get if you pour boiling water down a rabbit hole?

Hot cross bunnies Happy Easter

Pour Jokes More Pour Jokes

What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit Hole?

A Hot Cross Bunny

What do I get when I pour my Root Beer into a square mug?

Just Beer. If you don't get it, think mathematically.

Soldier Jokes More Soldier Jokes

Where does Joseph Kony train his soldiers?

Arizona

What do you call a soldier with long arms?

An army soldier

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

When did this happen?

A) I don't know he also stole my watch.

Why did the boat know it had a leak?

That sinking feeling...

Annoying Jokes More Annoying Jokes

What is the most annoying part of boiling vegetables?

Finding a pot big enough for the wheelchair.

What's the only thing more annoying than a pushy vegan?

When redditors won't shut up about how annoying one is.