Boil Jokes

How do you make holy water?

Boil the hell out of it.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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What do you call a cat that has boils on its skin and can't feel it's toes?

A leperd

What is the most annoying part of boiling vegetables?

Finding a pot big enough for the wheelchair.

How do you know when your vegetables are boiled?

Their wheelchair floats to the top.

Why are you not able to boil water in a tauntaun?

Because they're not real.

What was said the boiled waters funeral?

You will be mist.

What's the difference between a soldier and a sailor?

Ever tried dipping a sailor in a boiled egg?

What did the egg say when it was about to be hard boiled?

It's gonna take a while to get me hard, because I just got laid by a chick!

What do you get when you boil tree trunks with sugar?

Log jam.

Why was Easter the aardvark's favorite holiday?

Because he liked aard-boiled eggs!

What's an Irish Seven Course Dinner?

A boiled potato and a six-pack of Guinness Stout.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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Why was the cook sad when all the water in his pot boiled away?

Because he mist it.

What do they have for lunch at Monster School?

Human beans boiled legs pickled bunions and eyes-cream.

What do you get when you pour boiling hot water down a rabbit hole at Easter?

Hot Cross Bunnies!

What do you get if you boil funnybones?

A laughing stock.

Why do Americans drink their tea cold?

Because it takes too long to boil Boston Harbor.

What's the difference between Frankenstein and boiled potatoes?

You can't mash Frankenstein.

What is hail?

Hard boiled rain!

What is hail?

Hard-boiled rain.

If you boil a clown...

Do you get a laughing stock?

How do you make holy water?

You boil the hell out of it

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What do you call a dog with a lot of friends?

Pawpular!

Why did the barracuda want to hire the clown fish's anemone?

Because the barracuda believed that "anemone of my enemy is a friend."

Toss Jokes More Toss Jokes

How'd you sleep?

Him: *texts* Horrible...I was tossing and turn- Me: *crawls out from under his bed* I KNOW, YOU POOR THING.

What's the I.T. guy's favorite Pokémon game?

It's a toss up between ruby and perl.

Vegetable Jokes More Vegetable Jokes

What's the hardest part to cook in a vegetable?

The wheelchair

What's the hardest part of washing a vegetable?

Putting them back in the wheelchair

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Tim Howard and Jesus?

Jesus had 11 guys he could depend on.

What do you say to him?

Keep the change it doesn't really make a difference.

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

What do you call it when a Cat wins a Dogshow?

Cat-has-trophy. Such punny. Much Cringe.

Why were the Chinese trying to light a bbq grill out in the rain?

Because it was raining cats and dogs.

Hell Jokes More Hell Jokes

Why is there only a stairway to heaven but a highway to hell?

Easy. More traffic is going to hell.

What do you get when you cross a rhino with an elephant?

Hell-if-i-know (my grandma's favorite joke)

Soldier Jokes More Soldier Jokes

What do you get if you cross a soldier and a scientist?

A marine biologist.

Why did the soldier salute the occupied restroom?

There was a loo tenant inside.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What did the baseball manager do when he needed another man in the bullpen?

He took a can of orange juice from the freezer and made a pitcher.

Why did the programmer get a job working with big data when his wife died?

He just needed a little bit of Clojure.