Boil Jokes

How do you make holy water?

Boil the hell out of it.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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What do you call a cat that has boils on its skin and can't feel it's toes?

A leperd

Why are you not able to boil water in a tauntaun?

Because they're not real.

What was said the boiled waters funeral?

You will be mist.

What's the difference between a soldier and a sailor?

Ever tried dipping a sailor in a boiled egg?

What did the egg say when it was about to be hard boiled?

It's gonna take a while to get me hard, because I just got laid by a chick!

What do you get when you boil tree trunks with sugar?

Log jam.

Why was Easter the aardvark's favorite holiday?

Because he liked aard-boiled eggs!

What's an Irish Seven Course Dinner?

A boiled potato and a six-pack of Guinness Stout.

Why was the cook sad when all the water in his pot boiled away?

Because he mist it.

What do they have for lunch at Monster School?

Human beans boiled legs pickled bunions and eyes-cream.

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What do you get when you pour boiling hot water down a rabbit hole at Easter?

Hot Cross Bunnies!

What do you get if you boil funnybones?

A laughing stock.

Why do Americans drink their tea cold?

Because it takes too long to boil Boston Harbor.

What's the difference between Frankenstein and boiled potatoes?

You can't mash Frankenstein.

What is hail?

Hard boiled rain!

What is hail?

Hard-boiled rain.

If you boil a clown...

Do you get a laughing stock?

How do you make holy water?

You boil the hell out of it

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Pour Jokes More Pour Jokes

What do you call it when water is poured over a clock?

Time dilution.

What do I get when I pour my Root Beer into a square mug?

Just Beer. If you don't get it, think mathematically.

Sailor Jokes More Sailor Jokes

How well did the sailor do in school?

Not bad actually, he got high 'C's.

Why didn't the sailors play cards on the deck?

Because the captain was sitting on the top of the deck.

Mist Jokes More Mist Jokes

What was said the boiled waters funeral?

You will be mist.

What do you get if cross a frog with some mist?

Kermit the Fog!

Vegetable Jokes More Vegetable Jokes

What did the Priest say to the Church of Vegetables?

Lettuce pray.

What do you call a vegetable that always stays outside?

An un-in.

Soldier Jokes More Soldier Jokes

Why did the Romans build straight roads?

So their soldiers didn't go around the bend!

Why did the Romans pay their soldiers in salt?

So they would end up with seasoned veterans.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why is India surprised by the Brexit vote?

They didn't know you could get Britain to leave by voting.

Who reads the news AND makes coffee?

Katie Keurig. (I know the setup might need some work but I just like the punchline I made up.)

Egg Jokes More Egg Jokes

What does an egg say when he's getting turnt?

Omelette!!

What do you call an egg that is neither good nor bad?

Mediyolkre.

Peel Jokes More Peel Jokes

What is the monkey that can't peel the banana?

Terrible at CC

What did the one banana say to the other banana who had his feelings hurt?

I know that peel.