Inspire Jokes

What flavor gum does a scientist prefer?

Exspearamint. inspired by the presidential gum joke.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

What song does Freddy Krueger listen to when he gets a manicure?

I got Kniiiiiives on it! that inspired the joke.

What do a Marionette User and Tampon Thief have in common?

They both pull strings for work. (Inspired by Bo Burnham, this popped into my head the other day)

What medication that can make people inspire you?

Aspirin sorry guys

Who inspires you?

ME: Peter Piper. INTERVIEWER: What does he do ME: It's difficult to say.

What's the difference between a feminist and a battery?

Batteries have a positive side! inspired by: http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2zlrot/howmanyfeministsdoesittaketochangea/

What bird is most likely to inspire a revolution?

A pigeon... "Coup, coup"

What kind of music does an inspired Latin fish listen to?

Carp E.D.M. Credit to my friend for this one.

How does Beyonce answer the phone?

HALO HALO HALO!* - inspired from the Superbowl XLV11 Half-Time show

What do you call it when a hedge fund manager loses his job to a Watson inspired AI built by IBM?

It doesn't matter. We'll all be laughing too hard to care.

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Medication Jokes More Medication Jokes

What do you mean I can't drink alcohol with this medication?

You're not a bartender! You're just a pharmacist.

What medication that can make people inspire you?

Aspirin sorry guys

Inspiration Jokes More Inspiration Jokes

How does Lil Wayne get inspiration for his new music?

He listens to his old music.

Why is a toothbrush a "tooth" brush?

Cause it was invented in Alabama! Inspiration came from the comments(http://mobile.reuters.com/article/idUSKBN0GP1NS20140825 irpc=932)

Manicure Jokes More Manicure Jokes

What song does Freddy Krueger listen to when he gets a manicure?

I got Kniiiiiives on it! that inspired the joke.

What's the same about nail care and black people?

They're both manicures

Pull Jokes More Pull Jokes

Why is it so hard to pull over on the Pirate Highway?

Because there's a parrot on the shoulder.

Why did Joan Rivers die during throat surgery?

Q: Why did Joan Rivers die during throat surgery? A: Because her career as a comic was stuck, but no matter how he tried, the Dr. Couldn't pull a laugh out of her.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of skeleton are you?

An XO skeleton

What kind of photograph does Arnold Schwarzenegger take?

Polaroids.

1 Jokes More 1 Jokes

What's worse than having 10 dead babies stapled to one tree?

1 dead baby stapled to 10 trees.

What's the best thing about being a meth head?

1 sleep until Christmas.

Interviewer Jokes More Interviewer Jokes

What happened out there?

I dont kn-OMG WHAT IS THAT *interviewer doesnt look* Ugh didnt work on u either

How do you hit those high notes?

Adam Levine: I sold my soul to the devil. Interviewer: Excuse me Adam Levine: Practice.

Positive Jokes More Positive Jokes

What's the difference between a battery and a women?

The Battery has a positive side.

What does a battery have that a women hasn't?

A positive side....