Ion Jokes

What did the detective particle say to the suspect particle?

I got my ion you.

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What do you call an ion that also raps?

Fluoride, duh.

What did the atom say when it lost an electron?

I better keep an ion that.

How does a physicist exercise?

By pumping ion!

What's the difference between a seal and a sea lion?

An ion!

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How Many Russians Does It Take To Invade Crimea?

None according to the Russians.

What was the #1 summer blockbuster, according to Cat Fancy magazine?

Mad Manx: Furry Road

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Why do stoners love English?

Because it's lit

How do stoners travel?

On the canna-bus.

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Why did they skip 9?

Because, 7 8 9...

Why do we have Martin Luther King Jr. Day off?

So the black people will not be the only ones skipping school.

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What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?

Teargas

Why don't you transport onions by boat?

You don' want your boat to be full of leeks.

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Why didn't the feminist shave her arm pits?

Just kidding, just wanted to rile a few people up. But if you want to have a punchline contest, feel free.

How do I feel about your goatee?

I shave every part of my legs except the knees, how do you feel about that

Reproduce Jokes More Reproduce Jokes

How do skeletons reproduce?

They don't.

What's the difference between feminists and cancer?

Cancer reproduces itself.

School Jokes More School Jokes

How did the snow man get to school?

He took his icicle

Why was the math teacher late for school?

He took the rhombus

Accordion Jokes More Accordion Jokes

What do you get when you wreck a Honda Accord into a Saturn Ion?

An Accordion....I'll, uh, see myself out.

Which one is the boy you've been seeing?

New GF: *sees me playing accordion* He died