Ion Jokes

What did the detective particle say to the suspect particle?

I got my ion you.

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What do you call an ion that also raps?

Fluoride, duh.

What did the atom say when it lost an electron?

I better keep an ion that.

How does a physicist exercise?

By pumping ion!

What's the difference between a seal and a sea lion?

An ion!

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Trust Jokes More Trust Jokes

What's the opposite of quantum physics?

Logic. (If you don't like physics jokes, just keep movin')...(if you don't like math jokes, trust me, sometimes it makes a difference).

Why don't you trust me?

She texted both the guys simultaneously.

Mermaid Jokes More Mermaid Jokes

What lives in the sea and preys on mermaids?

Jack The Kipper.

Why did the pirate date the mermaid?

He thought finding X in her algebra would lead to booty.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do Amish people catch when they start using technology?

Mennonitis!

What are goosebumps used for?

To keep geese from speeding!

Skip Jokes More Skip Jokes

Why did the paper follow the pencil?

Because it LED THE WAY! I'm on a roll here! this is fun! Skip

How do you tell a bad joke from a good joke?

You skip the punchline.

Honda Jokes More Honda Jokes

What's the most reliable thing about a Honda?

It's theft rate.

What is it called when a politician craps his pants in a Honda?

Civic doody.

Accordion Jokes More Accordion Jokes

What's the difference between a chainsaw and an accordion?

A chainsaw can be tuned.

What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When an accordion is thrown down the toilet without it touching the sides.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of monster can sit on the end of your finger?

The bogeyman.

What kind of snake is good at building things?

A boa constructor.

Stoner Jokes More Stoner Jokes

Why do elephants and stoners get along so well?

Uh.. I don't remember..

Why did the stoner admire himself in the mirror everyday?

Because he has a high opinion of himself