Kidnap Jokes

What's it called when you kidnap a ghost?

A Polter-Heist

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What do you call a duck being kidnapped?

An abduction. I'll quietly leave through this conveniently placed door.

Why did parking tickets increase after Persephone was kidnapped?

Demeter wasn't working.

What happend to the guys who kidnapped Batman?

They got Bale.

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Why does everyone love cats?

They're purr-fect!

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Biggie loves it when you call him Big Poppa, while your mom just loves it when you call.

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What do you call a guy who likes Adobe and little boys?

A PDFile

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What did one strand of yarn say to the other?

I'm not ready to dye, I still have a few ends to tie up. "Ball up..."

What kind of tie does a ghost wear to a formal party?

A boo-tie.

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What does the ghost of Al Pacino say?

Boo-ah!

What do anime ghosts say to scare people?

Weeaboo

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How many computer programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, that's a hardware issue.

Why do computer programmers confuse Christmas with Halloween?

Because Dec 25 = Oct 31

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How do you determine which of two people is a chemist and which is a plumber?

One of them makes crack while the other just markets it.

How do you tell which plumber went home for lunch?

He's the one with the clean finger.

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Who is the supreme religious leader of the corns?

Pope corn!

Why does the Pope always win at chess?

He has so many Bishops!

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What do you call an elephant that looks like a rhino?

Elephino.

What do you call a mix between an elephant and a rhino?

Ell if I know