Lannister Jokes

What do you get when you keep two Lannisters in the same room for a bit?

3 Lannisters.

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Why do the Lannisters have such big beds?

They push two twins together to make a king.

How do the Lannisters save money on new beds?

They push Two twins together to make a King

Why didn't Greece vote for Tyrion?

Because a Lannister always pays his debts.

Why do Lannisters hate turtles?

Cause they can't stab them in the back

What do the Lannisters and Alice in Chains have in common?

They pay their debts on time.

Why is post college life so easy for Lannisters?

Because a Lannister always pays his debts.

Why do the Lannisters have such a big bed?

They pushed two twins together and made a king.

Why do the Lannisters have such large beds?

They put two twins together to make a king.

Why do Lannisters have such big beds?

GoT because they push twins together to make a king.

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What time did Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon?

Around Ten-ish.

How does a blonde set the time on her alarm clock?

She waits until midnight and plugs it back in. Disclaimer: I know it's terrible, I was very young when I came up with it.

Shrimp Jokes More Shrimp Jokes

What is less Kosher than a bacon wrapped shrimp?

A communion wafer

Why did the shrimp cross the road?

To get to the other tide.

Tyrion Lannister Jokes More Tyrion Lannister Jokes

How old is Tyrion Lannister?

Peter Dinkl-age

What's the difference between Voldemort and Tyrion Lannister?

One had a horcrux, the other had a whorecrush..

Greek Jokes More Greek Jokes

Which Greek god was annoyed by his invitation to the Goddess Dyslexia's party?

Ares.

Why do Greek men wear gold neck chains?

So they know where to stop shaving.

Philadelphia Jokes More Philadelphia Jokes

What effect does global warming have on Pennsylvania?

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

What do Nicki Minaj and the Philadelphia police department have in common?

Reclaiming black bodies.

Debt Jokes More Debt Jokes

What do you call a guy in a lot of debt?

Owen.

What did the college student say to a banker?

I am forever in your debt.

Post Jokes More Post Jokes

What kind of nuts go on a carrot cake?

First time posting to.

What did the redditor say when he opened his package from the UniBomber?

Wow, I did not expect this post to blow up

City Jokes More City Jokes

What do you call a city full of neckbeards?

M'tropolis

Why is Paris the city of love?

Hard P and a soft A. Modified from comment section of reddit