Lannister Jokes

What do you get when you keep two Lannisters in the same room for a bit?

3 Lannisters.

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Why do the Lannisters have such big beds?

They push two twins together to make a king.

How do the Lannisters save money on new beds?

They push Two twins together to make a King

Why didn't Greece vote for Tyrion?

Because a Lannister always pays his debts.

Why do Lannisters hate turtles?

Cause they can't stab them in the back

What do the Lannisters and Alice in Chains have in common?

They pay their debts on time.

Why is post college life so easy for Lannisters?

Because a Lannister always pays his debts.

Why do the Lannisters have such a big bed?

They pushed two twins together and made a king.

Why do the Lannisters have such large beds?

They put two twins together to make a king.

Why do Lannisters have such big beds?

GoT because they push twins together to make a king.

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Smell Jokes More Smell Jokes

What is worse than a carrot that smells like a snow women?

One that smells like a snow man.

What Did One Eye Say To Another Eye?

Don't Look Now But Something Between Us Smells

Roar Jokes More Roar Jokes

What do you call a bunch of Asian bears roaring?

Panda-monium.

What's the difference between a vampire with toothache and a rainstorm?

One roars with pain and the other pours with rain.

Room Jokes More Room Jokes

What do you call a credit union volunteer in a room full of bank directors?

A superior being.

What was it like?

Me: What was what like 10: Being alive in the 1900's Me: Go to your room.

Turtle Jokes More Turtle Jokes

What does a snail riding on a turtles back say?

WWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

What do you call a malady effecting reproduction in turtles?

A reptile dysfunction

City Jokes More City Jokes

What would Fred Flintstone say if you asked him which city had the Burj Khalifa, the tallest building in the world?

Abu Dhabi Dooooooo!

How do cities decide who gets to be in charge of wastewater management?

They hold a runoff election.

Chain Jokes More Chain Jokes

What do you call a thousand lawyers, chained to the bottom of the ocean?

A start.

What do the Lannisters and Alice in Chains have in common?

They pay their debts on time.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Why did the duck go to the basketball game?

He heard the ref was blowing fouls!

What do you call a man with potatoes in their ears?

Anything you want, He can't hear you!

Push Jokes More Push Jokes

Why are most Hotwheel cars Ford?

So people can grow up getting used to pushing a Ford.

What did the husband say to his wife when he tried pushing it in as much as he could, but it still wouldn't fit?

He said "I'm going to try on a different shoe size."