Twin Jokes

What's the best part about dating a twin?

Nobody can judge you on your age difference.

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What did the black intellectual name her twins?

Entendre and....Entendre!

Why do the Lannisters have such big beds?

They push two twins together to make a king.

How do the Lanisters make large beds?

They put two twins together to make a king.

Where do twin lesbians party?

Klondike Bar

How do the Lannisters save money on new beds?

They push Two twins together to make a King

Why did the twins have twice as many shirts as pants?

Because they shared genes!

What type of fruit do twins prefer?

Pears.

Why is King Joffrey like a mattress?

Two twins make a King.

What do you call Afghan triplets?

Twins! I am so sorry....

What do you call twins with no arms and no legs, hanging by a window?

Curt 'n Rod

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Where do twin lesbians meet up?

A Clone Dyke Bar.

Why did the mother of twins name both of her sons Edward?

Because two Eds are better than one.

What did two twins name a towing company started in lower Manhattan?

The Twin Towers.

What is the height of honesty?

A pregnant lady takes one and a half ticket in the bus Q: What is the height of dishonesty A: She gives birth to twins

What do you call a pair of twins who live together?

Womb-mates

What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-bachs.

Why was the blonde confused after giving birth to twins?

She couldn't figure out who the other mother was.

Why do the Lannisters have such a big bed?

They pushed two twins together and made a king.

Why did the identical twins survive the plane crash?

Because twins being destroyed by planes is too cliche, I guess.

Why do the Lannisters have such large beds?

They put two twins together to make a king.

Why do Lannisters have such big beds?

GoT because they push twins together to make a king.

Why don't you hire these twins for the robbery boss?

Criminal Boss: I'm afraid of a double-cross.

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why did the blind man use chopsticks?

Because he couldn't see the point in forks.

When does 1+1=3?

When you don't use a condom.

Large Bed Jokes More Large Bed Jokes

How do the Lanisters make large beds?

They put two twins together to make a king.

Why do the Lannisters have such large beds?

They put two twins together to make a king.

100 Jokes More 100 Jokes

How many SJW's does it take to fix a lightbulb?

100. 100 who complain about the lightbulb oppressing them, and 1 man to actually do it.

How can you tell, with 100% certainty, that no intelligent alien life exists that we know of?

Because if it did, we'd have sent foreign aid by now.

Lean Tower Pisa Jokes More Lean Tower Pisa Jokes

Why does the Leaning Tower of Pisa lean?

It is italicized.

What is the difference between the Leaning Tower of Pisa and the Twin Towers?

Better reflexes.

Manhattan Jokes More Manhattan Jokes

What did two twins name a towing company started in lower Manhattan?

The Twin Towers.

Why do differentiating mathematicians prefer Manhattans to Mojitos?

Ryes over rum.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

How do you tell the difference between an electrician and an electrical engineer?

Ask them to pronounce the word, "unionized".

What's the difference between a man and E.T.?

E.T. phoned home.

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What's black, white, and red all over and can't turn around in a narrow hallway?

A nun with a spear through her head.

How's your head?

Don't reply with "No man has ever complained."

Airplane Mode Jokes More Airplane Mode Jokes

How do you blow up a Muslim's iPhone?

Put it into airplane mode.

Why did the people's phones stop working on the plane's that crashed into the twin towers?

They were in airplane mode. (I'm so sorry)