Long Day Jokes

How does Stephen Hawking refresh after a long day?

F5.

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What drink does a cannibal have after a long day?

A handshake!

Where did the meteorologist stop for a drink on the way home from a long day in the studio?

The nearest ISOBAR!!

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Surname Jokes More Surname Jokes

What does a Polish man give to his bride on their wedding day that's both long and hard?

His surname

What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others the Pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?

Surname

Stephen Hawk Jokes More Stephen Hawk Jokes

What's the opposite of Stephen Hawking?

Stephen Talking.

How do you know Stephen Hawking has jungle fever?

He knows a lot about black holes

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

Why did Ayn Rand lose the pool tournament?

She wouldn't play on a regulation size table

What did the Mtis people think of the look on Stephen Harper's face when he lost the election?

They though it was Riel funny!

Way Jokes More Way Jokes

How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two - One to put it most of the way in, and one to give it an interesting twist at the end.

How about some snappy one-liners?

Ironically, the only way you could get me to watch 50 shades of gray is if you tied me up and forced me to watch it.

Cause Jokes More Cause Jokes

Why do feminists hate the post the USPS?

Cause it's an all mail business.

Why don't they let gansters play Quidditch?

Cause gangsters always catch the snitch!

Virus Jokes More Virus Jokes

What did the computer say to the virus?

ScRAM

What do you call a virus named Enza that causes the flu?

A flu Enza. Thanks a lot everyone, I looked forward to this day for a long time.

School Jokes More School Jokes

What do you call a movie about a low-magnitude Iron ion that skips school?

Ferrous Bueller's Day Off

Why did Ahmed take his clock to school?

He wanted to see time fly

Handshake Jokes More Handshake Jokes

What do you get when you stick your hand in a blender?

A handshake

What drink does a cannibal have after a long day?

A handshake!