Midday Jokes

What cuts four farts in the morning, two farts at midday, and three farts in the evening?

A sphinxter.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Battery Jokes More Battery Jokes

What kind of batteries does a Harvard undergrad use?

AAA

Why did the Energizer Bunny need to lawyer up?

He was charged with battery.

Morning Jokes More Morning Jokes

Why did Richard leave his home this morning?

For Harambe.

What do you call Washington State after a long rain storm?

Washed a Ton State. I woke up with that joke in my head this morning. My brain is weird. Had to share it with someone.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What did the Grateful Dead fan say when he ran out of pot?

What's that noise?

What does a retired Olympic sprinter have in common with Bernie Sanders?

He quit running.

Evening Jokes More Evening Jokes

What is a caffeine addict's excuse for drinking coffee in the evening?

It's 8:00 somewhere!

What has 4 legs in the morning, two at lunch, and three in the evening?

A cannibal

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

When i go down you know what it tastes like?

Depends...

What are the chances you know an Olympic gymnast??

A stretch

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

How many people work in the Lada factory?

Two. One to cut and one to glue

Why didn't the shepherd cut off his sheep's wool?

Shear laziness.

Fart Jokes More Fart Jokes

What do you call a computer that farts?

A compooter. 8D

What should you do when people talk behind your back?

Fart

Apple Watch Jokes More Apple Watch Jokes

Why can't you have two Apple watches?

Because then it would be a pair (pear)!

What does an Apple Watch do when it gets hungry?

It goes back four seconds.