Morning Wood Jokes

What's awkward for a man but a normal part of the job for a lumberjack?

Morning wood.

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Why is morning wood full of holes?

Because the woodpecker.

When does a Frenchman get his morning wood?

A bonne heure.

What's worse than morning wood?

Mourning wood

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What's another name for a casket?

Mourning wood.

What do you call a sad tree?

Mourning wood

Frenchman Jokes More Frenchman Jokes

How many Frenchmen does it take to guard Paris?

No one knows, it's never been done before

What do you call ten Frenchmen who stand in front of their goalie for 90 minutes?

Dix.

Lumberjack Jokes More Lumberjack Jokes

What is the biggest similarity between the average Redditor and a lumberjack?

They both sleep all night and whack all day!

What mathematical operation is used to calculate the rate at which lumberjacks cut wood?

Logger-rhythms.

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

What job can you see yourself doing?

Inspecting mirrors

Why was the powerlifter fired from his job at the restaurant?

He was awesome at cleaning the bar, but he wouldn't stop jerking it.

Hole Jokes More Hole Jokes

Why should you bring two pairs of pants when you golf?

In case you get a hole-in-one (stolen from some girl at school)

What do you call a man with no arms &amp no legs......hanging on the wall?

Art...floating in the sea Bob...laying on the floor Matt...down in a hole Phil...sitting in a pot Stu...

Mourn Jokes More Mourn Jokes

When should funerals occur?

Mourning

What does a widow say when she wakes up?

Mourning

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What did the thief say when he saw the man leave his coat behind?

Let's jack it.

How many men does it take to make popcorn?

Four one to hold the pot and three to act macho and shake the stove.

Woodpecker Jokes More Woodpecker Jokes

What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon?

A bird who knocks before delivering its message!

Why does Pinnochio always get an erection when he's in a forest?

Because he has a woodpecker!