Morning Wood Jokes

What's awkward for a man but a normal part of the job for a lumberjack?

Morning wood.

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Why is morning wood full of holes?

Because the woodpecker.

When does a Frenchman get his morning wood?

A bonne heure.

What's worse than morning wood?

Mourning wood

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Woodpecker Jokes More Woodpecker Jokes

Why does Pinnochio always get an erection when he's in a forest?

Because he has a woodpecker!

How do you get a tree pregnant?

With a woodpecker

Lumberjack Jokes More Lumberjack Jokes

What did the lumberjack say when his colleague went home sick?

Hope you fell better tomorrow.

What do you call a dating service for lumberjacks?

Timbr

Mourn Jokes More Mourn Jokes

What's another name for a casket?

Mourning wood.

What time of day is the saddest?

The mourning

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

What did Alex Trebek say when he was about to lose his job?

My career is in Jeopardy!

What did the hippy say when he was told to get off the couch and get a job?

Namaste (pronounced:nah I'ma stay)

Morning Jokes More Morning Jokes

Why are birds always sad in the morning?

Their bills are over dew

Why didn't you stop when I shouted at you back there?

Motorist: I thought you were saying "Good morning Mr. Mayor." Cop: Right. I wanted to warn you about going too fast through the next town.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

How can you tell soap operas are fictional?

In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed.

How does a woman apologize to a man?

I'm sorry, but it's your fault.

Normal Jokes More Normal Jokes

What's awkward for a man but a normal part of the job for a lumberjack?

Morning wood.

What's the normal amount of hair to mail someone?

I feel like this is a lot of hair I'm mailing to someone

Hole Jokes More Hole Jokes

How many amateur masochists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one; But it takes a WHOLE E.R. room to extract it afterwards. Double joke! "whole... hole." it's a play on words

What do you call a shooting at a Mexican golf course?

A hole in Juan