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Mustard Jokes

What do you call mustard that's not very hot?

Air condijoned.

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Why did the drill instructor squirt condiments on his trainees in the morning?

That's how he mustard the troops.

What happens when you mix mustard and ketchup together?

It's must-up..

What did the bun say to the hot dog?

I relish the fact that you've mustard the will to ketchup to me!

What did the guy who liked mustard say when he opened his fridge and saw no mustard?

You mustard be joking!

What do you give a dog with a fever?

Mustard. (It's good for a hot dog.)

What do you call a Mustard that keeps remembering things that haven't happened yet?

Dijon-vu mustard... (Sorry)

What do you call a singing bottle of mustard?

Celine Dijon

What does Colonel Mustard's Mexican maid call him?

Phonetically-ish)* Mis'ser Dijon.

Why is the whole battalion yellow and slimy?

Me: I mustard the troops. General: ... Me: Just as you told me to, sir.

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Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What happened when the lepers played poker?

One guy threw down his hand and another laughed his head off. This was my best friend's favorite joke when she was little apparently.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs on your front porch?

Matt. Others:

Season Veteran Jokes More Season Veteran Jokes

Why did the Romans pay their soldiers in salt?

So they would end up with seasoned veterans.

What type of veteran is he?

A seasoned veteran.

Hill Jokes More Hill Jokes

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?

To get to the bottom

What is yellow and rolls down a hill?

Mustard in a rollerskate

Bun Jokes More Bun Jokes

What's the best part of a baker's body?

Their buns.

What does Chick-fil-A and their CEO have in common?

Both hate when people stick beef between two buns.

Star Jokes More Star Jokes

What kind of a star can be risky?

A shooting star!

What side of the American flag are the stars on?

Both sides. Came from my FIL on this Memorial Day.

Case Jokes More Case Jokes

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of trousers?

In case he got a hole in one.

Why does Luigi bring an extra pair of overalls when he golfs?

In case he gets a hole-in-one

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

Why didn't the melons get married in Vegas?

Because they cantaloupe. This joke was brought to you by Dads inc.

What did the irritated man say to his inguinal hernia?

Get off my nuts!" (ps. I made this joke up yesterday... i am having hernia surgery tomorrow, and i lol'd so hard at myself that i about caused a second one to pop out)

Roll Jokes More Roll Jokes

Which Way Do Transformers Put The Toilet Paper?

Autobots Roll Out!

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?

No one knows it's never happened.