Nice People Jokes

What's common between Canadians and Belgians?

They're mostly really nice people, but they have the French living there too.

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Why don't nice people ride the train?

Because they're usually found on trucks.

Why are terrorists so mean?

Because they don't like Nice people.

Why are Lawyers buried forty feet deep when they die?

Because deep down they're really nice people.

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Karma Chameleon Jokes More Karma Chameleon Jokes

What do you call someone pretending to nice to people just to get upvotes?

Karma chameleon

How was the Redditor with only one karma upvote able to look like he had five karma upvotes?

He was a karma-karma-karma-karma, karma chameleon!

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

What did the doctor say to the cancer patient?

You have tumor months to live.

Why is it illegal for a person living in Virginia to be buried in Texas?

Because they're still alive.

Pretend Jokes More Pretend Jokes

Why do Hutterites children pretend to be pirates?

Because they ARRRRRRR retarded

Why's the necrophiliac's blow up doll half inflated?

So he can pretend she's decomposing.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why won't the US change over to the Metric system?

Because we'd rather die on our feet than live on your 30.48 centimeters.

Why can't a fish be a radio host?

Because if he goes on air, he'll die.

Canadian Jokes More Canadian Jokes

How do you get 20 Canadians out of a pool?

Okay folks, time to get out of the pool!

What do you call a weapon used by a Canadian ninja?

Canuck-chucks.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Why did the University of Oklahoma researcher stay awake every night?

He was trying to find a cure for insomnia.

Why do fire departments have dalmatians?

To help the firemen find the hydrants

Bury Jokes More Bury Jokes

What do pirates say when they find buried treasure?

Thanks for the gold!

Why did the Kurd bury his music collection?

His tribesman said "ISIL is approaching, and they're coming for Yazidis."

Crash Jokes More Crash Jokes

What does Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashes?

Nothing.

What is not a truck crashing into people?

Nice.