Report Card Jokes

What did little John Cena say to his primary school teacher when she gave him his report card?

You can't C me!

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

What did the pirate get on his report card?

Seven C's

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Steal Credit Card Jokes More Steal Credit Card Jokes

Why didn't you report your stolen credit card?

Man: The thief was spending less than my wife. Police: Then why are you reporting it now Man: I think now the thief's wife has started using it!

Why didn't the man report his stolen credit card?

The thief was spending less then his wife.

Thief Jokes More Thief Jokes

What is it called when a thief steals a purse, runs into the street, then gets run over?

Ma

What is the difference between a thief and a church bell?

One steals from the people the other peals from the steeple.

Report Jokes More Report Jokes

How many journalists does it take to change a light bulb?

We just report the facts we don't change them.

Why didn't you report your stolen credit card?

Man: The thief was spending less than my wife. Police: Then why are you reporting it now Man: I think now the thief's wife has started using it!

Parent Jokes More Parent Jokes

What did the parent say when the little girl was whining?

Leave it to peave her.

What do you call Bruce Lee's mom when she's making obvious statements?

A parent, Lee.

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

Why didn't the man report his credit card stolen?

Because the thief was spending less than his wife.

What does an agnostic, dyslexic insomniac spend his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

How long has this been bothering you?

Women: It started after work 2 days ago at 7pm. Men: I think it started in the 90's.

Why didn't Darth Vader make it as a stand up comic?

Fans thought his sense of humor was a little too on the dark side.

Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

What do my dad and Carly Rae Jepsen have in common?

They both said they were just going to the store

What did Simba say to his dad when he was moving too slow?

Mufasa!

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

How did Christopher Columbus find India?

He used Apple Maps.

What will you be using the money for?

Me: "A divorce lawyer."