Rodent Jokes

What do you call a rodent that sells illegal guns?

An Armadealer

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What do rodents with an inclination towards mathematics use for their auctioning needs?

Thepiratebay

What do rodents do after dinner?

Gopher a walk.

What do rodents say when they play bingo?

Eyes down for a full mouse'!

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Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What's the difference between an Art major and a guy who mops bathrooms at KFC?

One has a job.

How can I help you?

Me: "Why did you guys put my frog on the No-Fly List!" Agent: "Umm..." Me: "DAMMIT, HE'S STARVING!"

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get when you cross an agnostic, dyslexic, and an insomniac?

Some one who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.

Why did Princess Di cross the road?

Interia

Ex Jokes More Ex Jokes

How to break up with someone- You: Your ex is attractive. Partner: which one?

You: MEEEEE BYEEEEEEEE

What do you call a 2 legged dog who always ignore your calls?

Your ex!

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

Why did the Carpenters wife leave him?

Because he was screwing around.

How many Persona fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. 1 to screw it in, and 1 to complain that it's not dark enough.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What is Harry potters favorite way to get down a hill?

Walking....J.K. Rowling

What's his name?

A man walks into a bedroom and sees a hot, naked woman lying face-down on the bed. Q: What's his name? A: Willie Turner Q: What's name? A: Betty Will

Mention Jokes More Mention Jokes

Why should you never mention the number 288?

Because it's two gross! (A gross is a measurement unit for "144". So 2 * 144 = 288. Or "two gross".)

What a glum face what would you say if I came to school with a face like yours?

Pupil: I'd be too polite to mention it!

Twitter Jokes More Twitter Jokes

What's the different between Twitter and Game of Thrones?

Twitter has a character limit

What do you do at a red light?

Me: "I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."

Arnold Jokes More Arnold Jokes

Why did Arnold show up at the rodent infested house?

Because he is an ex-Terminator.

Who's there! Arnold! Arnold who?

Arnold friend of yours is a friend of mine!