Rodent Jokes

What do you call a rodent that sells illegal guns?

An Armadealer

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What do rodents with an inclination towards mathematics use for their auctioning needs?

Thepiratebay

What do rodents do after dinner?

Gopher a walk.

What do rodents say when they play bingo?

Eyes down for a full mouse'!

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Send Jokes More Send Jokes

Why do parents send their toddlers to the army for daycare?

Because they're sending them to the infantry!

What does the H. in Jesus H. Christ stand for?

Hallmark. God cares enough to send the very best.

Cover Jokes More Cover Jokes

Who do you think was sent to cover the story of the baby lion born in the zoo?

A cub reporter.

What covers the outside of a dogwood tree?

Bark.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

Why did the kid cross the road?

To go to a better place.

What do you get when you cross a Jedi with a nun?

A force of habit

Gopher Jokes More Gopher Jokes

What did the prarie dog coach say to his team?

Just gopher it.

Whats a motivational word for a gopher?

Gopher' it.

Mention Jokes More Mention Jokes

What a glum face what would you say if I came to school with a face like yours?

Pupil: I'd be too polite to mention it!

Why should you never mention the number 288?

Because it's two gross! (A gross is a measurement unit for "144". So 2 * 144 = 288. Or "two gross".)

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

What do you get when you cross the world's most famous skater with the world's best physicist?

A video game so realistic, when you screw up you have to play in a wheelchair.

What is Polish roulette?

It's similar to Russian roulette, but instead of a revolver it's played with an automatic pistol.

Christmas Time Jokes More Christmas Time Jokes

What do angry rodents send each other at Christmas time?

Cross mouse cards!

What do ducks do at Christmas time?

They Duckerate cookies....lol...

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of car does a cat drive?

A Cadillac.

What kind of drugs do ducks take?

The snort quack.